


• Nobody Knows •

by chamomile_lady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Multi, Sabriel - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 00:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamomile_lady/pseuds/chamomile_lady
Summary: Sam and Dean had their lives figure out. Or so it seems. They learned that career, fame and money is not all there is. Finding oneself. That's what they want. So the duo went back to their old hometown where they reunited with their grumpy but lovable uncle, their strongly opinionated second mom, some old dear friends they left behind and their new crazy neighbor.  Will the old bonds be forge back or will it completely crumble?





	1. Chapter 1

You may see this place and find no worth but it's our little piece of heaven here on earth.  
\--The Script

 

                             ---

The teeny, tiny prickles of sunshine did a good job to slither in between the curtain by the window. A hint of a clock ticking somewhere a midst the darkness in the room. Everything seemed to be undisturbed by the presence of light that was penetrating the place. Well, everything except for Dean Winchester, the ever famous lady's man who can captivate anyone's heart with a simple wink of an eye, is currently groaning deeply as if the little ray of sunshine did something to offend him greatly. Rubbing the sleep away, he push himself up, trying to recollect himself. The strong pounding in his head isn't helping as he cautiously, eyeing the place from the red coated walls to the thick frilly curtains. 

 

He was dumbly staring at the empty space in between a cherry wood desk and a blue basket of waste, when it hit him. This is not his room. 

This. Is. Not. His. Room. 

Somehow his mind emphasize the words like a yell echoed through the empty cave. His eyes gone wide when memories from last night came crashing.

Light. Bright colored lights. A crowd dancing from a far and music blazing loudly enough to make the ground tremble. The smell of lime and a bitter taste imprinted in his mouth. Then a sweet intoxicated voice whispers 'let's get out here, big boy.'  
And so on the memory of last night continues to play and trap him in a daze, only to snapped out when his eyes landed at the black alarm clock that flashes '9:08'. 

"Son of a bitch!" He yelped, immediately jump out of the bed and then discovered he was fully naked. This time he silently curse and fumbled desperately for his clothes. 

When he was able to dress up, a buzzing sound was heard by the desk. A name 'Sammy' is displayed in the screen, Sam Winchester, a twenty-six year old successful lawyer and a raging moose of a younger brother, that can be a nagging mother who will bite his head off when angered, was currently calling. He quickly swipe his phone off the desk and head outside the room before answering the call. 

"Where the hell are you, Dean?!" An angry voice greeted him.

"Well, hello to you too, Sammy. Way to greet your big brother warmly this morning." Dean rolled his eyes, finding himself that he needs to come down four flight of stairs. 

"Damn it, Dean. You know we're moving out today and now you decided to play hide n' seek of all days." 

"Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm heading back to the apartment." He said, descending the stairs quickly. 

Sam sighed, "No need, I got all your things sorted out. I'll meet you at McDonald's." Hearing a shuffling of plastic bag. 

"But I haven't shower yet." Dean flinched when he smelled his grey shirt. 

"Yeah, well that's not my problem. You could have showered if you went home last night. Plus we're in a tight schedule, Dean. I did told you last week that we would push through the plan." 

"Okay, okay. Sheesh!" Passing by a big potted plant by the lobby. He reached out for the door knob. "I'll be there in fiv- no wait make it ten. I need to figure out first where I am."

"Goddamit, De-" 

"See you soon, Samantha." He cut off. And ended the call. Now he just need to find out where the hell he is and survive his brother nagging him later. One out of two can't be bad as he walk along the crowded street hoping that he is in Mexico or Norway, away from his brother's wrath. The sun shines brightly up and the sky was ever blue somehow saying this is going to be a good day, so Dean shove his phone back in his pocket and took advantage of this fine day. 

                           ...

"Look, who decided to show up!" Sam glowered and Dean just sunk down his seat and pick up his food. Thinking how unlucky he is when he learn that he is not geographically  away from his brother. In fact he was just five blocks away from their meeting place which he took time to walk. 

"You know, Sammy. You sound like an angry housewife." Dean shove a piece of fries. 

"Do you know what time is it, Dean? It's past eleven o'clock and we are supposed to be on the road going to Sioux Falls, right now." 

"Correction, a ballistic housewife who just found out her husband spend all their dough to satisfy his gambling habits," he paused, taking the lid off his cup of coffee. "Oh relax! It will only take us, what? A couple of hours to arrive. You forgot I ain't rusty in driving." 

"Dean it will only take us a few hours if we commute by plane. Normally, since you are scared of heights and would never ride a plane in this lifetime, we would take a day hitting the road." Sam scowled, slapping some keys on the table. 

"Since it was your idea to start late you better strap your ass up and drive the whole day." 

"No problem then." Dean smug widely eyes mocking on his brother as he shove down the rest of his burger and quickly drank down the coffee and made his way on his impala, his most priceless possession. A black classic beauty 1967 Chevy, he and John Winchester restored.

He open the door and sat down the Driver's seat, titling the rearview mirror and wearing a huge sunglasses that was hanging on it. He snuck a glance to his brother.

"Wipe that frown off your face, this is going to be an easy ride Samantha." He smirked earning a scowling mumble from Sam. 

Later that day, Dean found out it wasn't one of those easy and fun ride.  
                          ...

"Son of a bitch! I should have been working right now instead of driving in the middle of nowhere with my moose of a brother that keeps on relying on a machine for direction rather than bringing with him a map!"  Dean said irritably, they have been driving  for  five hours under the scourging heat. 

"Hey! At least we're not lost and have you forgotten that the both us suck in navigating. And by the way, you proudly said and I quote 'this is going to be an easy ride Samantha.' Which as you can see is really an easy ride. Good job, Dean." Sam, who was busy fanning himself at the passenger seat, said mockingly. 

"Yeah, well we don't need to be navigating if we have just stayed back home in L.A where we could have been working!" Dean retorted as sweat seemed to roll down his face while hands were gripping tightly on the steering wheel.

The dessert heat was merciless this time around. The heat wave was somehow visible when the surrounding starts to look like a transparent jello. 

"We've talked about this Dean, you need a break. More likely we need a fresh start from everything that happened last year." Sam said concern laced in his voice there was a pregnant paused between them. 

Sam somehow trap in a daze, remembering how things change and mostly how he change not in a good way. L. A. was a city of great opportunity, he was blessed with a job that he truly loves. At first he was a dedicated lawyer, one who seem to do his job rightfully. Never let anything to come in between his career. Then he met the love his life namely Jessica Moore, a fellow colleague much of the same burning passion in her chosen career as he is.  
Jess was a levelheaded girl, who professionally does her job with grace and an air of self- rightenuousness when she step in the court. And with that Jesse was able to sweep Sam off his feet. They have been boyfriend and girlfriend for a year and a half, then engaged for three months. Unfortunately, a tragedy bloomed in Christmas Eve of  2010. Sam and Jesse were involve in a car accident which Jessica Moore was not able to survive. Sam who loss his fiancé went down right spiraling. Grief struck him like heavy chains that prevent him from moving.

"And we're not really moving to a new town. We're moving back to our old hometown, Dean. It was our home before." Sam snap out of the trance as he shrug off the impending memories by eyeing the front mirror that reflects a moving truck behind them. 

"Well L.A is our home now, Sammy. Sioux fall was our old hometown that wasn't much of a home to us." Dean said darkly, glaring at his brother. 

"Not anymore, listen Dean. I may be a hypocrite by saying this but man you might have gain fame and fortune in L.A or get everything you thought you ever wanted but either you're aware or unaware you were slowly losing yourself. Hell! I was losing myself too, Dean." Sam said sincerely eyes full of sadness and regret. "One day I woke up feeling so hollowed then I look at myself in front of the mirror expecting to see my reflection but all I can see is... Never mind. Look, can we just try this?" Sam pleaded as he lean his forehead against the half open window. His brother said nothing for the rest of the journey.

                           ...

The sun was perking up in the sky when they arrive. Both are still frustrated from the argument earlier they kept the silent a little bit longer.   
The sound of gravel crunching and other cars passing were the only sound present. 

Soon they arrive and parked the impala right in front the moving truck. They stepped outside looking around the new place. There were less people walking down the side street since it's late in the afternoon. Looking up in front of the apartment building the mover starts to get outside the truck and headed to Sam who was holding some papers and instructing them things while Dean was busy looking around the area.

The town was quite the same except for some unfamiliar establishment. What caught his attention was when he catch a glimpse of a red bricked building just right next to the apartment building with a sign board that read 'lick-it-&-like-it bake shop'.

 

"Are you kidding me?" Dean muttered upon reading the sign." That's the most lamest thing I've ever read." 

Even Sam, who was busy signing some paper, got curious and stole a glance, he almost choke on his own spit when he read it. 

"That sounded more like a sex shop," Sam said "is that even allowed?" 

Dean just shrug as he notice a honey blond haired man sitting lazily by the glass window of the shop. His legs were hanging on top of the round wooden table, he noticed how the man was looking eagerly at them, clearly eyes planted at Sam who was still laughing. 

'Great way to start this new life.' Dean thought rolling his eyes while glaring daggers at the man inside the shop. Somehow the man had felt his gaze but instead of looking away he winked at him and he continues to watch Sam. 

"Hey Dean. Just finish giving Hank the instruction might take a while for them to finish. We better scarce ourselves away from the apartment for a few hours." Sam explain while rolling the paper "Let's better stay somewhere to chill for a while."

"Yeah sure." Dean reply still crossing his hands against his chest as he glared stubbornly on the creepy man.

"Let's go then." Sam invited.

"Uhuh." Still paying attention to the person by the window.

"And we should apply some yoga classes together." 

"That's a great idea." 

"By the way I was the one who vomit on baby last year it wasn't Charlie."

 

"That's wonderful Sammy." 

"You're not even listening." Sam points out  grabbing deans face and force him to look at him. 

"I am listening." Dean defended. 

"Really? So what did I say." Sam challenge. 

"Something about moving back to L.A." Dean smiled sweetly now looking at his brother who is giving him a resting bitch face. 

"Touchy, touchy." He added.

"Okay, okay. What were you talking about? Sheesh.. stop making that face Sasquatch. I promise to listen now." Dean raise his hand in surrender. As he give his attention to his brother. 

"We are starting a new life here Dean. A clean state. Now, it's up to you. how would you like to live it?"   
Sam sighed and shake his head leaving Dean behind to ponder the question. 

Yeah. How would you like to live it.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, ho, here she goes  
Either a little too loud or a little too close  
Got a hurricane at the back of her throat  
She thinks she's made of candy.  
\--- Robbie Williams   
                                              
  ---

"WHAT THE HELL!" Someone shouted. The surprise and furious shout from the storage room was a 'good morning' greeting from Gabriel Novak to his unfortunate target. 

Whoever that poor bastard, who fell from Gabriel's prank was busy cursing failing to detect the pair of amber eyes, who was sneaking out of the room whilst trying his best to hold his laugher. 

"Ash, what's goi- oh," one employee entered wearing a plain white long sleeve matching a black pencil skirt and a frilly black apron while a silver plate name tag with a name 'hannah' was attached to it. Her hair is pulled in a messy bun as her pale blue eyes look at the man who was covered with sparkling glitters from head to toe. There was a moment of silent, clearly taken a back from the current predicament situation of her co-worker. 

"What's with the commo-" a fiery red haired woman who was also wearing the shop's uniform entered. Her eyebrows furrowed and an 'o' shape was form on her lips. 

"You know Ash, I never pegged you as a glitter kind of guy but hey, no judgement here. This is a safe place. We accept you no matter who you are." She said an evident it's too early for this shit expression was present on her face and a hint of small amusement graces her tone. 

"Bite me, Anna." Ash, the guy covered in glue and glitters retorted giving an annoyed look at the red haired lady. 

"You wish, Darling." Anna smiled and wink. Making Gabriel bit his tongue just to prevent himself from laughing. 

"Hannah, kindly help him while I clean the mess." She instructed while slowly grabbing the broom. Hannah, who was in a daze earlier, automatically help the poor man and lead him to the locker room. 

It's been two years since Gabriel move in town and open up a shop. Nothing much happens in a small town that which make things too boring. Well, except his daily early morning pranks. It never ceases to amuse and brighten up Gabriel's day. 

                            ---

The morning ruckus died down when  the rush hour came, waves of people came and bought their everyday food. The morning batch of pastries were all sold out leaving empty trays behind. 

Gabriel and his staff have a breather when lunch came. The number of people slowly died down. He let the rest of his staff have their lunch break as he step in the kitchen to bake more pastry. 

He was busy massaging the dough when a familiar disheveled dark haired man poked inside the kitchen. 

"Hello, Gabriel." The dark haired man greeted in a very low, blue eyes focus on him. 

"Cassie!" Gabriel cheered upon seeing his little brother. Feeling relieved knowing his little brother was going to help him around the kitchen. 

"Did you deliver the box of cinnamon buns to the old geezer?" He asked while pounding the dough. 

Castiel nodded and grab a bowl from the top shelf. 

"Busy morning?" The younger brother asked. 

"Same old, same old." He sighed. Somehow feeling down with no particular reason.  There are moments that Gabriel feels down and he can't seem to understand why he seemed to feel this way. Cold. That's it, he feels cold and he wonder why does he feel so cold. Maybe it's because of the weather. He was reminded that winter is almost approaching that must be it. 

Cold.

 

Winter.

 

Snow.

His mind went distant only snap out from the daze upon hearing some shuffling sound that the other man made he took a glance at his baby brother who was offering him a cherry sucker.

"Thanks, little brother." He said sincerely. Feeling warmth that grounds him back to reality. 

A smile slowly creep on his lips. Castiel, his serious and awkward younger brother had always know how to cheer him up. 

 

                           ---

The afternoon was quiet.

It's a slow hour at the bakery that He was able to spot the new arrival, his unwavering gaze followed the three figures who was talking right outside his store.

"Goddamit! Sammy, you better pray they do have a better pie in this town." The shorter one wearing a red leather jacket and a tight black jeans cussed looking annoyed at the taller guy who Gabriel assumed that was 'Sammy'. 

'Sammy' or the taller guy who is talking to the truck driver gave him an unamused face and continues to talk. The shorter man who was rolling his eyes at the tall man seemed to have notice his presence. Gabriel being a normal human being should have look away and mind his own business.

Unfortunately Gabriel being Gabriel he winked at the shorter man and continue to stare up the taller man.

"Bow-chicka-wow-wow," he said making one of his employee glimpse while the other ignores him.

"Shame on you, Gabriel. I taught you better than ogling shamelessly on some people on the street." A gruff voice was heard coming from the kitchen side of the shop. 

"But Cassie," he pouted. "The new guys are worth ogling shamelessly about, especially the taller one." 

Cassie or Castiel Novak is the younger brother of Gabriel, always quiet and awkward yet can be as mischievous as his older brother sometimes and always a curious one.

"And you say I'm the creepy one." Castiel, who just got out of the kitchen, retorted while removing his apron. 

Gabriel waved him off and continue to eavesdrop while unwrapping his cherry sucker.

The man, who was wearing a washed up blue jumpsuit wave at his two companion inside the truck while the two hot guys were in a somewhat heated argument or so it seem. Starts to steer a little scene by the sidewalk making random stranger on the street turn their head. 

"-st sake, it's been five years Dean! There's nothing wrong going back to our hometown." The tall one argued. 

"Jesus, Sammy! I'm here with you, aren't I? What ma-" The short argued back.

"Oh boy! These new neighbor of yours smells trouble." Missouri  - one of Gabriel's regular slash the town's local psychic said while sipping her tea. 

"Hush, don't be like that Missouri. Don't judge a book by its cover. You always say that whenever some new people arrive in this town."Lisa who is also a regular warned the older lady. 

Lisa and Missouri seemed to have a history with each other which the town folks know, they never seemed to get along and had each other's throat every time they cross path.

"Don't tell me what to do, sweetie. I'm not judging, I'm just observing plus those two men gives me a hibbies-jibbies here." Missouri sassed. 

"Hibbies jibbies?" Lisa asked eyeing the older lady. 

"Yup, I can sense trouble from them. Well their aura seems awry just like you little miss sunshine, that is giving me a headache and needed to lighten the hell up." Missouri replied carefully placing her empty cup of tea on the table. 

"And how do you know that?" Lisa snapped glaring daggers at her. 

Missouri just gave her  the 'bitch-I'm-a-fucking-psychic-how-do-you-think-I-know' look then rolled her eyes. 

"Hey, hey, hey! no cat fight in my bakery. Even though it would be entertaining and might liven up this boring town but unfortunately I am so not keen for the both of you to destroy my shop." Gabriel said defusing the tension between the ladies. 

"Have some chamomile tea ladies on the house." Castiel interrupt while serving the newly blend teas. 

"Thank you, Castiel. What a sweet heart." Missouri and Lisa spoke at the same time. "You're such an angel, thank you." 

"It's no trouble Ma'am." He said giving them a charming smile while replacing the empty cups with steaming big mugs. 

"Oh, it's a trouble. I am so taking that out of your paycheck Cassie! This is not a soup kitchen where you can give free stuff." Gabriel huffed scolding his younger brother, arms crossed. 

"I don't even have a paycheck. One more time I remind you, Gabriel. I'm just volunteering here and you have not payed me any single cent for my service in the past three years. In which I'm entitled to have some privileges to give these fine ladies some free drinks." Castiel points out nonchalantly while the ladies snickered behind. 

The blond haired man gasped dramatically and was about to retort when the chiming of the bells near the door interrupt. The two newcomers went in the shop now looking more calm. 

Gabriel who was sitting by the window side smirk as he and his brother look at each other for a second having those telepathic monologue. 

'Holy shit Cassie! The taller guy is much hotter when you look at him this close.'

'Gabriel please refrain from obviously devouring him through your eyes. He is not an item or a zoo animal that you can unabashedly look at.'

'But look at him and his companion ain't that bad looking. How about that Cassie.'  Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows.

'Behave Gabe. You are a twenty nine year old man, you better act like one.   Just go and manage the counter.' 

'Fineee. While I go adulting I might as well continue ogling.'Gabriel ended their  telepathic monologue and stood up by the counter. 

And as a sophisticated, mature and professional adult he is. Hence, the responsible business owner have greeted his customer and said: 

"Well hot damn, who would have thought there is really a God who would answer my prayer to bring some hot and gorgeous people to join me for an orgy." He shamelessly utter while winking at the two customer who were clearly surprise and a bit disturbed on what he just said. 

There was a long suffering sighed coming from Castiel who pushed Gabe aside. "I apologize for my brother's inappropriateness and immature remarks. Please do ignore him for my mother might have accidentally dropped him and hit his head when he was just a baby," 

"Hey!" Gabe protested but Castiel just ignored him and step in the counter.

"So, what can I get you two hotheaded guys who just happened to make a scene in front of my brother's store." He said bluntly earning a laugh from his brother on the side. 

"While I was dropped by our mother when we were younger, you, my dear brother were born naturally with sharp tongue or our mother were taking some drugs while she was conceiving you and this must have affected you by not being able to filter any words coming from your brain which makes other people think you're an asshole. Well you're an asshole anyway." 

"Shut up, Gabe." Castiel push him aside. 

"So, really what can I get you?" The dark haired guy asked impatiently. 

"Uhm... Hello, we're kinda new yet not so new in this town. I'm Sam Winchester and this is my older brother Dean." Sam smile widely while extending his right hand in front of the guy. 

"I see but that doesn't answer my question. I'm gonna ask again what can I get you?" The man persisted Sam was observing if the guy was joking but unfortunately he had that serious demeanor that make Sam gulp down. 

"Cassie, Cassie you're doing it again. I am so sorry, for my little brother can be a little stiff in social interaction. The name's Gabriel, just Gabriel." Gabriel said with a wink and shake the taller Winchester's hand. 

 

"And this Spock wanna be is my little brother Cassandra." Pointed at the 'Cassie' the man just glared at him in return.

"Castiel," The man corrected elbowing his older brother. " and I still don't know who this Spock you keep on associating me with." Gabriel shrug and explained about the joys of modern T.V. shows that earned an ennui look from his brother.

Sam sneak a look at Dean and mouthed 'what the hell' while his brother just rolled his eyes and step forward. 

"What do a guy have to do to get some pie here." He said trying to get their attention.

"First is to order one." Castiel answered staring back at him whilst holding a pad and a pen waiting to write down. Dean, who seemed to take the staring as a challenge, leveled a stare right back at him. 

"Awhhhh. Look at that a true to life twilight story." As the two man seemed to be staring at each other for a while now, Gabriel decided to interrupt. Both gazes automatically was on him, one was looking at him with disgust and frustration while the other one was confused. 

                          ---

"I told you this was a bad idea Sammy," Dean complain while heading to their new apartment just right next to the bake shop. "Now we have those crazy brothers on our asses." 

"Don't be such a drama queen. Give them a chance." Sam insisted while holding a box of cherry pie that Dean ordered. Both weren't able to stay in the shop any longer as Gabriel, who Dean called midget, keeps on entertaining them. And by entertaining it means vulgar flirting. 

"If you mean by giving them a chance is to avoid them, I would likely be aboard with that idea." Dean motion his right hand to Sam to give him the key. "But no, you invited them for dinner this weekend. You had one job, Sammy. One job!"

The taller man just sighed. Tired of his older brother constant complaints he silently handed the key waiting for Dean to open the door. A big white couch was situated in the middle of the room was the first thing that greeted them, a huge bricked fireplace was situated in between the two doors on the right side of the room, some built in table tops and top shelf cabinets were situated on the left and the dark brown wooden vinyl floor were covered with dust. The piles of unopened boxes were scattered all over the place. 

"I'm going to cry now, Sammy." Dean announced while looking around the chaotic living room while stepping inside and close the door behind. The younger man just shook his head and starts to open the untouched boxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Candy by Robbie Williams*  
> Reminder#1:   
> This is Raw version of the chapter no editing happened. Lots of grammar errors..   
> Reminder#2:   
> Updates every Thursday.   
> Reminder#3:   
> Pls don't forget to leave some love through votes or comments


	3. Chapter 3

When enemies are at your door I'll carry you way from more  
If you need help, if you need help.

Your hope dangling by a string.  
I'll share in your suffering to make. you well, to make you well.

\--- Phillip Phillips 

                          ---

It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini.  
That she wore for the first time today.  
An itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini.

Castiel found himself waking up from  a blaring music outside of his room, pair of blue eyes poked out of the blanket, squinting hardly. The light from the window was somewhat offending as he rub his eyes gently. He sat up on his bed, hair sticking out in different direction and pyjama crinkled all the way. Eyes wonder down his wall clock showing it's past ten in the morning. 

So in the locker she wanted to stay.  
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more!

He's going to kill his brother, he thought.

"Turn the radio off Gabriel or else!" He yelled, voice a little rougher than usual. 

"What? I can't hear you over this loud music?!" His brother yelled back from a distant and he swear the volume of the music became louder.

Irritated. He took a pair of scissor from the nightstand and headed out of his room, walking towards where radio is and cut off the wire. 

She was afraid to come out in the open. And so a blanket around her she wore. She was afra--

There were sparks from the wire when he cut off then died down along with the music.

"What the diddly whack! Cassie why the hell would you cut that off." Gabriel complained as he dash towards the radio. "Do you even know how much this cost?!"

 

"I don't care. When I said to shut that noisy monster up, you should have listen. You know I hate waking up this early." He explained as he walk back to his room hoping he would crawl back to his bed.

"Oh no, you aren't going back to your room." Gabriel caught on his right hand and pull him back. "We are going to the grocery store."

"No." Castiel simply said while yawning.

"Nuh uh. We are going." Gabriel persisted. 

"No, go away 'm sweepy." he murmured slowly heading to the couch instead. 

"Nope, little brother. We are going whether you like it or not." And for Castiel that's the last thing he remember before going back to sleep. Gabriel huff and pulled Castiel out of the couch, the half awake man mumble something in between the lines of 'Sssh... let me sleep, gaby.' And a promise 'imma going to kill you in your sleep tonight.' 

"Come on, Cassie we need to get our welcome gifts for our neighbor in the shop." Both hands man handle his little brother as he supported Castiel all the way out of the apartment. 

Then the trip was all bits and pieces for Castiel when his brother travel to the bakery first, another blackout then he find himself in a parking area, then he smell something sweet then he saw a glimpse of random flowers and out again. 

Until he finally woke up and found himself in the cereal aisle of a grocery, wearing only his pyjamas and fuzzy slippers. In that moment he swore to lock his room and never get outside half asleep. 

                            ---  
Sam was having a peaceful Friday morning. He was staring right outside the window, the sky is clear there's no cloud floating by and the sun rises up brightly. His eyes shift down and he can see people walking in different directions, cars orderly moves on the road and a pretzel vendor setting his stall. 

A new beginning. 

That's all he mostly needed. It was satisfying and exciting to get back in this town, liking the familiarity in some ways. The music plays softly somewhere in the living room as Sam took a sip of his steaming cup of coffee. Seeing more things after unpacking their stuff for the whole night makes the place more appealing to live. 

"It's a brand new day." He said to himself while smiling widely. 

The freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hand was scenting the room with its aroma, the clock was ticking eagerly by the brick wall of his living room mutely counting the seconds. 

"Mother fucking Winchesters!" A yell and a furious knocking from the door snap him out of his trance state as he gently place the empty mug on the sink and headed to the door. 

Cracking the door open, a furious Jo Harvelle was standing with arms cross against her chest, her blonde hair tied into a pony tail and a big frown big present on her face. She brisk herself in with noisy steps coming from her heels. 

"Hello, Jo."Sam greeted sheepishly looking at the petite woman in front of him, dress in white off shoulder  blouse and faded black jeans. Jo Harvelle, a sister like figure in their life stood still with sharp glares and thin lines curled down on her lips. 

 

There's a pregnant pause. The heavy tension is in the air and Sam can feel it. Not knowing what to say to his adopted sister he just keep quiet and stood stiffly. Afraid that if he would make any move, like stepping on a land mine, the impending wrath of his little sister would be unleash. 

"Hello?! That's all you have to say. A fucking hello?!" She started. "For five freaking years both of you and Dean were radio silence. And that's all you have to say a fucking hello?"

"Jo, I'm s-"

"Can it, Sam. Spare me the drama  I'm not going to listen to any of your excuses." She interrupts. "Asshole!"

"You never call or even wrote a letter," she said furiously, poking Sam's chest a little bit harder. "Mom, Bobby and I. We were all worried for you and Dean."

"And all we got is a radio silent for years," she paused, looking sternly at him with eyebrows knitted together. 

Sam said nothing, the feeling of shame and guilt lingers as he fiddled the hem of his shirt. Eyes were planted down the floor as he can't even dare to look at the woman in front of him. He deserve her anger, to be completely honest he never dare to make any communication to anyone when he and Dean ran off to California. Even when they went to L.A. whilst having successful career neither one of them tried to contact anyone in their old hometown. Not even to their own father. 

We are both assholes, Sam thought. 

For a minute all he can hear was an angry yell then seconds later he find himself on the ground. Eyes widen as he was brought back with a warmth of another body.

Jo rammed him down with force that both of them stumble down the floor. All the anger from earlier dissolves. 

"I miss you." She sob and hug him tightly.

"I miss you too." Sam said in return and hug her back. 

"Awhhh! that was touching." A voice cooed. Sam and Jo snaps their gaze to where the voice is heard. Finding Dean half naked with only loose grey sweat pants leaning by the door of his room. Smirk plastered in his face wiping some imaginary tears in his face while walking to the kitchen.

Sam and Jo look at each other planning to wipe the smirk off the older winchester's face. Both stood up and quickly tackle Dean down the ground. Making him drop the bottle of water he was holding.

"Back! My back."He protest face planted directly at the cold floor.  

"What's that you missed me too?" Jo sat comfortably on the man's back while Sam lay heavily on his feet. Dean mumbled a series of curses and a repeated mantra of 'I hate you' trying to shake them off. 

"Don't worry I miss you too, Dean." Jo smiled putting more weight to avoid falling down. 

"Bitch!" Dean said audibly. 

"Which one?" Sam said with amuse and satisfaction in his tone.

"Both of you." Dean groaned. "Holy hell, you two are heavy."

"Really, Dean. Holy hell? You know that's a contradiction, right?" 

"Your face is a contradiction." Dean lamely retorted.

"Shut up, Dean." Both Sam and Jo said in the same time, laughing warmly as they all fall to the sudden comfort of each other's company.

"Oooh! Look at that Cassie we're just in time for the orgy." Another voice entered. The front door was crack halfway open, Sam must have forgotten to close it when Jo came in, the annoying man from yesterday was standing holding a white box on his right hand and a grocery bag on his left.

"Hey, Gabe. What's shaking?" Jo greeted, wiping any traces of tears from earlier. 

"Fantastic! One of Snow white's dwarf appeared. Are you stalking my brother?!" Dean exclaimed. Knowing how annoying the midget is. He can feel a headache coming, it was too early for this shit.

"Rude." Gabriel commented, thin lines appeared on his lips. 

"Dean," Sam warned him. All three of them stood up from the floor. Dean headed to sit on the couch while Sam assisted Jo.

"Calm down, Bruce Banner. Before you go all green on us. We are just here to welcome you to the neighborhood." He explained, presenting the white box he was carrying.

"Neighborhood? What are you talking about?! Please tell me you don't live near here." Dean's hands are on his face, rubbing it furiously.

"As the matter of fact, yes we are. Our room is just right across the hall. Therefore we are your kind and generous neighbor, isn't it great." The shorter man cheerfully points out. "Right, Cassie?"

"Great!" Dean mumbled sarcastically while Gabriel turn around expecting his little brother beside him but the empty space was present. 

 

"Oh man! I knew I forgot something." The amber eyed man bit his lips then quickly give the box to Sam and immediately left. 

"What was that all about?" Dean asked. Rubbing his sore back where Jo hit him with her heavy butt.

Sam simply shrug while Jo took a lifting off the lid of the box.

"Damn! You guys are lucky." Jo whistles, inside the box is a dozen pieces of red velvet cupcakes adorn with whip cream and colorful sprinkles. "Gabriel's cupcakes are legendary. It's hard to buy one of this babies."

The three of them shared the treat and talk. Busy catching up with each other. When the night came Jo gave them a long, tight hug and threaten to castrate them when they try to leave the town without telling her. Then she whispered " it's good to have you boys back." 

Then she left.

                         ---

"How about that, Sammy. I bet you my soul that Ellen and Bobby are gonna skin us alive when they found out that we just move back here." Out of the blue Dean suddenly spoke. After Jo left the boys order pizza for dinner and went on movie marathon. 

"Yeah." Sam said uncommittedly, eyes still focus on the movie. 

"And you still think it's a good idea for us to be back here?" Sam rolled eyes upon hearing what Dean just said. 

Sam lean his back comfortably on the sofa as he took some slice of pizza and ate it.

"Look, Sammy.  I'm just worried okay. We left here with no goodbyes. don't get your hopes up thinking things will be the same as before." His older brother explain.

Looking back at what happened today, he was sure everyone won't be as forgiving as Jo.   
"I know, Dean." Sam finally answered. 

"Things will never be the same." Dean frowned, drinking his cold beer.

"I know." Sam said more sincere this time.  
                        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gone by Phillip Phillips*
> 
> Reminder#1:   
> This is Raw version of the chapter no editing happened. Lots of grammar errors..   
> Reminder#2:   
> Updates every Thursday.   
> Reminder#3:   
> Pls don't forget to leave some love through votes or comments


	4. Chapter 4

Sometimes you've got to bleed to know, that you're alive and have a soul.  
\-- Twenty one pilots

                             ---

' -- Whip your ricotta together with the beaten egg. Whip up one egg with a fork, as if preparing scrambled eggs, and then mix it in with the ricotta. The egg will help the cheese bind with the layers of pasta, keeping your whole dish together when it is done coo--'

 

Click

 

'Are you ready kids. /Aye, Aye Captain/ I can't  hear you/Aye, Aye Captain./Ohh...Who lives in a pineapple under the sea / spongebob  squarepants!/ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. /Spongebob Squarepants!/  
If nautical nonsense be something you wish. /Spongebob Squarepants!/ Then dro--'

 

Click

 

'News flash: This just in, Anglican Church faces big issues. The well established church in Canada was raided by the FBI when an unknown source send some disturbing information regarding to the said church. According to agent Henriksen the current  case is connected to the ongoing reports of children missing from the past thirty five years to present. Five priest were arrested when the FBI and some local police raided the area, in total of ten children were found in the church's basem---'

 

Click

 

'Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him aweso--'

 

Click

 

Dean sighed with a frowned look in his face. Legs dangling on the couch, left hand rested on the armrest and right hand is glued on the remote. Saturday afternoon was quite boring Sam was out for grocery shopping and left him with some list of things to-do. 

Today was the day for the welcome dinner party hosted by his dear brother and Dean is not set to the idea of inviting strangers in their apartment. After the fiasco yesterday and a few days ago he found out that the stalker-slash- annoying midget was their neighbor and what luck that they are just in the same floor.

"So get this," Sam suddenly came in. "I went to Hy-vee and I saw your old high school sweetheart." 

"Which one?" Dean asked as he turn his gaze to where Sam is. 

"Rhonda, you remember her?" Sam smirked placing all the bag of groceries on the counter top. 

"Rhonda, Rhonda, " he murmurs. The name was familiar but Dean can't quite remember her fully.  

"Dude she's the chick who made you try wearing panties!" Sam supplied. 

"Rhonda Hurley!" Dean yelled upon remembering her name. Memories somehow shows up in his mind making him smile. "Oh good times."

"Gross!" Sam face crinkled and begins to take out the things he brought. 

 

"Man, that was the most exciting moment in my high school life. Sex was awesome back then." 

And the rest of the conversation almost made Sam threw up.

                               ---

"Crap! It's almost six o'clock," Sam look at his wrist watch and quickly flip the sizzling steak. "For fuck sake, Dean! Did you set the table already?" 

"Yes, honey. I bought out the chinaware." Dean sneered fighting the urged to roll his eyes. Placing each silver wares to it's designated places.

"How about the living area, did you clean it earlier?" Sam ignored his mockery. He can hear the banging of utensils from the dining place.

Dean's movement stop upon hearing the question, quickly he look at the living area. The sofa pillows were scattered, there's beer bottles on the coffee table and there are crumbs of chips on the couch. Immediately he grab all the beer bottles and put it in the trash bag, he dust the crumbles of chips off the couch and he arrange the pillows properly at the couch. He inspect the area on more time and turn back to the dining table where Sam's bitch face was waiting, leaning his stomach and arms on the counter too. Dean gave him a grin and a thumbs up trying to appease his brother's impending nagging. 

 

Knock, knock, knock.

Both brother's attention is now on the door. They can hear soft mumbling outside, Sam took off his apron and shove to his older brother's chest. 

"You, finish the salad." He ordered Dean. "While I entertain them."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Coming!" Sam hollered.

Earning a raised of brow from the other man who was wearily accepting the apron that was shove. 

"Oh, I'll finish it alright." Dean grumbled and went to the kitchen.

Sam headed to the door, before opening he check the state of his hair on the mirror which is located on the left corner. The mirror reflect his tall and lean figure, his light green flannel is crinkled and his long brown hair is a little bit messed up.  Hands automatically fix his hair and smoothen the crinkled area of his cloth. 

Knock, knock, knock.

Series of mumbles were now coherent and Sam can hear enough without opening the door.

" -- swear to whoever higher being above who is watching on us, Gabriel. That I  will punch you on the crotch if you knock again."

"But Cassie you know I need to complete my 13 knocks." 

"Well I don't want you doing it." 

"You can't control me!"

 

Knock, kno--

Thud.

"Aaaaah!"

And in that moment Sam open the door before his neighbor would kill each other. The first thing he saw was Gabriel, the short, dirty blond man who crouched down the grey carpet floor while both hands is on his precious jewel.

"Cassie, I think you busted my balls." Gabriel said in agony the moment he turn his head on the door, the height disadvantage man abruptly stood up and out on his charming smile.

"Hello, neighbor." He said, right hand held on the wall to find his balance trying not to mind the pain.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked. Hearing the noise earlier he knew the hit was strong and that would hurt a lot. 

"Well so much for second impression." Gabriel said. Glaring at the dark haired man on his right who was holding a box and a bottle of wine. "No thanks to you. Little brother."

"You're welcome." The man answered.

"Gosh! You can be infuriating sometimes." The golden hair growled. 

"Good, it means I played my part well." The man nonchalantly reply.

"You could have damage Gabriel Junior!"

" I coul-"

The two brothers continue to bicker on the hall way while ignoring Sam's presence.

This is going to be a long night, Sam thought. 

                           ---

"So you're a criminal defense lawyer. That's very impressive, Moose." Castiel praised but Sam was torn if the guy is  insulting him or complimenting him, so he just nod. 

After dinner, the four of them situated on the living area. Sam and Gabriel on the couch, Castiel seated comfortably on the orange fabric recliner and Dean sat cross legged on the floor.

 

"Ooh! If you're a badass criminal lawyer what does grumpy over there do." Gabriel sang somehow buzzed on the wine they drunk earlier. 

"You know that I'm here, right? And I can practically hear you loud and clear, midget." Dean protest while draining his beer.

"Dean is a business man. Owned the largest chain of auto-shop internationally." Sam said proudly. "And he did it without any college diploma." 

Sam smiled thinking how great of an older brother Dean is. He gave up going to college in order to look for a job and save up for his little brother's future. Dean was not just his brother, he was also his father and mother, and he can't thank him enough for what the man had done for him. Gabriel noticed how sincere Sam's smile is and can't help to smile back. 

Sensing the incoming chick-flick moment Dean excused himself to the bathroom. Soon Sam and Gabriel were fixated in their conversation. So Castiel went to the kitchen to get more wine.

He see his brother looking more relaxed and enjoying the companion that the taller man give. He poured a copious amount of red liquor in his glass and quietly observing Sam and his brother from afar. 

Hearing a flushing noise on the right side he turn his attention to the older Winchester who just went out of the bathroom, lazily scratching his tummy under his loose white shirt and he strutted back to the couch. 

 

And Castiel can't have that interruption. He frowned and quickly drain the liquor from his glass.   
Wiping the traces of liquid from his mouth he reach out for his trench coat from the rack.  
He snuck up behind Dean and let his left hand land on the man's lip and  right hand gripped on the shoulder. Silently, stepping out of the room. As soon as the door closed instantly Castiel let go of Dean.

"What the hell dude!" The green eyes man hissed. Surprised by the sudden attack. 

"Calm down, freckles." Castiel slid a finger through his hair and rolled his eyes. 

"Calm down!? The hell is your problem man. You don't do that to people, especially the one who just invited you for dinner." Dean exclaimed, eyes were intense. 

"You know what, screw you!" He yelled and rocked his heels forward.

"If you come back in there , I will castrate you with my apartment key." Blue eyes threatened. In which Dean take his hands off the door knob. "I'll explain to you later but let's head to the bakery first." 

 

                          ---  
"You know if you just offered me this earlier I could have just go with you without any complication." Dean said waving a silver fork in mid air, cutting another piece of pecan pie.

"I can see that now." Castiel said dryly while sticking his nose upward to stop the bleeding. He never saw it coming when the older Winchester land a blow on his face. 

The man-child was throwing a tantrum along the way and boy, it was not an easy job to calm him down. Castiel practically drag him all the way, luckily the shop is just beside the apartment building. 

"I'm not gonna apologize for that." Dean added. 

"I'm not expecting you to do it." He retorted. 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Blue eyes instantly lock on the dirty blond man. If looks could kill, his head must have been rolling down the floor of the bakery right now.

"Don't you ever shut up, freckles." 

"Rude!" 

"I'm sorry that my people skill is 'rusty'. Did I hurt your feelings, princess?" 

 

"People skill? You don't even have one. You're just plain rude with no filter, of course my feelings are hurt!"

"I know that," Castiel argued. "and I'm trying but it's not that easy." 

"You are so not trying, dude." 

"I do try." 

"No, you don't." 

"I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don-".    

"Enough!" Castiel broke it off. Feeling an incoming headache, the man was just as childish as his brother. " I'll give you another slice of pie if you shut up." 

Upon hearing the offering Dean zip his mouth and smiled with contentment. 

"Wait a minute," Dean paused taking another mouthful piece of pie. "Why am I here again?"

"Nothing particular." Castiel lied. Turning his head away from the guy.

 

"Dude, is this a date?" Dean asked. Eyes widen.

Castiel almost choked on his saliva. 

"Two things you should know about me. First, I'm not that easy and second I don't swing that way." He said with more conviction. Though he knows the first one was a lie, especially he keeps on doing the one night stand back in L.A.

"Calm down, freckled face. First of all this is not a date. I would never bring my date into my brother's shop. Secondly, you are not my type." Castiel pointed at Dean, which only gave him a scowled look. 

"Why do you call me that?" Dean change the topic. 

"Call you what?" Castiel head tilt looking like an adorable bird. 

"Freckled face." Dean point out.

"It's a good nick name, isn't it? and there's a chance I wasn't listen to the conversation earlier that I don't know  your name or your brother's name." He said in a whisper like avoiding any eye contact with the man in front of him.

"Hey! You hang out with us for more than three hours and you didn't even know the name of the people who fed you. Rude."

"Shut it, freckles." 

"Ohhh, it's on." The older Winchester paused and licked his lips thinking a way to get back at him. "Cassie."

"It's Castiel." He corrected.

"What was that Cassie?" Freckled face said mockingly. 

"If you call me that again, I promise you I will punch you on the dick." 

"As if Cassie, I know your a gentle and kin- Aww! Holy shit, it hurts. Y-you hit me.. You punched my dick!" Dean groaned body bend down on the chair hissing from the painful impact. 

"This is he second time I punch someone's crotch tonight. Hopefully this will be the last one." Castiel said with amusement laced in the tone of his voice and Dean slowly move away from the crazy guy. 

                          ---

"Don't wiggle your eyebrows at me, Gabe." Cas said blankly as he closed the door of Gabe's room from behind. After the crotch punching incident he and Dean went back to the winchester's apartment just to find out that Sam and his own brother was waiting eagerly for them with mischievous look on their faces.

Slowly he assisted his brother lay down the bed. Gabe was too drunk to walk properly. 

"Whatever you did to Dean was way too kinky little bro." Gabe teased remembering how the older Winchester was walking funny.

"Who is Dean?" Castiel asked confusingly and Gabriel just clumsily giggled."The man who you were with." 

 

"Oh you mean, freckles." Cas sighed rubbing his face with his hands. "Whatever you think happened is quite the opposite of what really happen." 

"So, what I thought happen didn't really happened?" Gabriel snickered trying his best to button up his pyjamas in his drunken state.

Castiel just rolled his eyes and sat beside his brother. "Did you enjoy hanging out with moose?" 

"Yeah, Sam is fun." He smiled it's been a while since he enjoyed someone's company. 

"Sammmmy is a great guy." Gabriel hug his pillow and slowly drifted to sleep. "G'night little bro."

 

"Goodnight, Gaby." Cas stood up carefully and tugged the blanket down to Gabriel's body. He look at his brother's serene face one last time and flick the lights off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crap! sorry for the late update. I'm getting a writer's block lately. I wrote this between three days worth of insomnia so forgive me for the lazy writings and unintelligent vocabs. 


	5. Chapter 5

Moves my feet to carry on,  
It beats my heart when you are gone.  
\-- The Lumineers

\---

The clock by the nightstand bleeds red and flashes digits of 2:45 am. A pair of radiant green eyes were wide awake in the dark. It was way past midnight an the town was already dead silent except for the loud snore coming from his brother's room. Sam was in deep slumber, the lucky bastard. Earlier this morning he was completely thrown when Sam decided to tell him that they'll be visiting Bobby and Ellen any time this week, somehow it made Dean's stomach feels queasy. 

Don't get him wrong he loves Ellen and Bobby, they were both Sam and his second parents. But it's been a very long time they seen them and neither both of the brothers dared to contact them for five the last five years. It's giving him stress not knowing how will his adoptive parent will react. So now his having three days worth of insomnia. He turns over plopping his stomach flat on the soft mattress. Eyes hover back the nightstand the clock reads 2:50 a.m. Beside it, is a half unfinished bottle of whiskey; which was no help to him at all, it was not enough to put him to sleep tonight. 

He was rather just restless. 

But the bags under his eyes tell another story, protesting to him to force himself to sleep. He buried his face on the pillow and groaned in frustration. Waiting for the time to pass. Unfortunately for him sleep never came. He Kick his blanket and pushed his self up, quietly went to the kitchen to get some water.

 

He misses his old place;

The horrid peeling yellow paint of walls in his apartment, the wide windows that captures the great view of the city, the noisy sound of cars passing through the road, the busy chatter of people walking down the street, the old route he takes on to go to work, he even misses the rude neighbors he enjoy pestering everyday. It wasn't perfect but it was his home for years.

He took a sip, the water was able to cool down his throat but wasn't able to appease the restlessness inside. He put the glass aside and stared blankly out the window. Maybe a little drive would be able to clear his head. 

Grabbing his brown waxed cotton jacket and a set of keys, he snuck out carefully and locked the door closed behind him. The hallway was empty and a little bit dark. The light was dim by the wall and it was only able to light up some part of the pathway. Dean went by the stair and stop for a mere second just to wear his jacket. His feet start to climb down the stairs then halted halfway when he heard some strumming of guitar out of nowhere. Taking interest, he followed the faint sound. Several flight of stairs later. His feet lead him to the rooftop.

The door was already jammed open and the sound coming from the guitar was freely filling the quiet space. The moon was out, no clouds hovering around it. The moonlight graces the place. Dean look around and he can see the different flickering of lights on each of every house in the small town. They looked like stars twinkling from a far. Dean took a deep breathe, enjoying the view. He looked around and notice a particular side of the area is being consumed by a kiosk made out of woods, inside it there are some chase lounge strategically put in place and two beige hammocks with red, green and blue pillows on it. There are four torch like lights that are aesthetically located on each side. The place looks nice and private and Dean was tempted to lay down on one of those hammocks.

Slowly he walked towards the kiosk, from a distance he was able to distinguish a figure sitting in one of those hammocks. Thinking that there will be a possibility that the stranger must be a serial killer or a ghost Dean turn around and walked back the door. But then he stop when the strumming of guitar from earlier was playing again, he glance back at the figure and was able to glimpse the faceless figure was the one playing it. The idea of listening to the stranger play passed through Dean's mind and without realizing, his feet begun to move forward slowly. Only to stop when the moonlight illuminate the figure's face. It's Castiel. Playing the guitar and apparently singing. Castiel's voice was gruff and he was singing the song in whispers that the wind blows. His facial expression now was completely different, the annoyed look on his face was gone and replace to a serious and solemn Dean was able to see for the first time.

He have that kind of expression too, he thought.

Dean look at the man, really look at him. He sees how Castiel's lips curled into a frown and eye brows knitted together, the man seemed to look worried about something and Dean somehow have an urge to ask the guy but his mind was telling him to turn around and walk away because the situation screams 'PRIVATE' or 'leave the guy alone.  
Yet again his body is not cooperating and quietly slide on the wooden foundation of the kiosk and sat down. His body relaxed the tension for his shoulders earlier disappeared, feeling the contentment whilst watching the evening sky and listening to Castiel's singing.

 

Nobody knows how to say goodbye,  
It seems so easy 'til you try.  
Then the moments passed you by,  
Nobody knows how to say goodbye.

 

Nobody knows how to get back home,  
And we set out so long ago.  
Search the heavens and the Earth below,  
Nobody knows how to get back home.

 

Through the darkness to the dawn,  
And when I looked back you were gone.  
Heard your voice leading me on,  
Through the darkness to the dawn.

 

Love is deep as the road is long,  
And moves my feet to carry on.  
It beats my heart when you are gone,  
Love is deep as the road is long.

 

Nobody knows how the story ends,  
Live the day, doing what you can.  
This is only where it began,  
Nobody knows how the story ends.

Nobody knows how the story ends.

The strumming ends as soon as the singing stop, he was expecting the guy to sing another song but then Castiel suddenly said. "You know I don't appreciate people spying on me, freckles."

Dean was surprise when blue orbs is on him on the spot. The man was looking at him like he was waiting for some explanation. 

"Wel- I umm.. I.." Dean stutter, he began to panic. Knowing he intrude a private moment. "Sorry, I'm gonna go now."

He was going to stand up when a laugh was heard, he glance at the man who was hugging the guitar and look at him with amusement. Guilt and confusion was written all over dean's face.

"Relax." Castiel said calmly.

"I'm not gonna punch you again for intruding my alone time." He said sincerely looking up the sky. Dean can see the blue eyes gleam brightly, the light of the moon was able to make Castiel's eyes shine brightly.

And he was smiling. And Dean can see how pure his smile is, somehow it reminds him of a child like innocence and boy, it felt nostalgic. 

Dean cleared his throat gaining the man's attention." So, um.. Can't sleep too?"

"Yeah? I believe the feeling is mutual, huh?" Castiel replied.

"Yes, the alcohol didn't help tonight." Dean said somberly, as soon as the words came out he mentally slap himself for sharing stuff like this to the guy. Great, He just gave another thing for Castiel to mock him. 

"Hmmm, some things just wouldn't give you a rest." Blue eyes said with understanding. 

Dean just nod, relieve that Castiel didn't say anything more than that and both fell to a comfortable silence.  
They stayed their until the dawn starts to break.   
\---

Sam was having a staring contest with a coffee machine. Yup, his arms are crossed on his chest as he lean on the kitchen's counter top. Eyes were set firmly without blinking on the small device waiting for his coffee to heat up.

That's how his Tuesday morning started, he woke up late around quarter to ten. The few days were quite stressful for him. From starting his private firm in this town to preparing seeing Bobby and Ellen has taken it's toll. Every night he slump directly on his bed and instantly fell asleep, sometimes he missed dinner because of it.

And now he was impatiently waiting for his coffee tapping his right index finger on his left elbow, the sound of boiling water is present and he can see a white smoke coming out from the coffee pot.

Moments pass by the coffee was ready and Sam pour a lavish amount on his big white mug. He put the coffee pot back and grab his mug of steaming hot coffee. Sam made a beeline to the living room and sat comfortably at the orange recliner. He was placing his mug carefully when he heard the door slam from behind. Almost completely knocking the mug, luckily he was able to catch it but some coffee spilled out of the mug and directly drip down Sam's hand.

"Fuck." Sam hissed and winced when the hot coffee came into contact on his skin. Glaring to the direction where the source of noise came from. He saw his older brother who was wearing his brown cotton jacket, under it is his favorite batman pyjama top and pants. His hair was sticking widely in different direction. On his left hand was a white plastic bag It looks like Dean just came from the outside and just arrive this morning. Sam was about to ask where he was when he notice his brother was talking to someone on the phone.

"Yes, Charlie. I'll send you some picture of the new place." Dean rolled his eyes and drop his keys on the bowl. 

"Uhuh. So how's Benny as acting C.E.O?" Dean ask while whiffing the aroma of coffee in the air. His eyes darted on Sam when he notice the moose, who was trying his best not to give his older brother a bitch face. Dean just wave at him and pointed to the kitchen.

Sam just turn back on his coffee and try to ignore his brother.

"Really!?" Dean muttered." That's good to hear." 

"Hey! You wound me Bradbury." Sam can hear him rummaging in the kitchen. "Take it back and tell me that I'm the better boss."

"That's right. That's right. I'm the best boss you'll ever have." Dean chuckled at whatever Charlie said on the phone.

"Yeah, I'll pass on the message to Sam. Take care, Queen. Bye." Then there's a click. Dean walked out the kitchen and sat down on the white couch with a grey mug, two plates and forks, and the white plastic bag earlier on his hand. 

"So, where did you go?" Sam asked sipping his coffee.

Ignoring Sam. Dean placed it down the coffee table and took out a silver foil, carefully he opens the foil and in it are two slices of cherry pie, a honey glazed donut, a chocolate coated donut and some star shaped cookies.

"Where did you get those?" Sam persisted.

"From the bakery, Sammy. Where do you think?" Dean sassed. Placing one plate with a fork on it for the moose and one for him.

"Sorry, little brother. I love you but both pies are mine you can have the rest." Sam just shook his head and took interest on the honey glazed donut.

"What's gotten you cheery in the morning?" Sam asked with curiosity. Lately Dean shows up in the morning with a very grumpy looked in his face but now he was somewhat smiling and in the good mood.

"Pie." Dean simply just said. Scooping the pies with the fork and out down his plate, Dean slowly devour the pastry and moaned quite loudly upon tasting it.

Sam cleared his throat. "Shall I give you and the pie some time alone." 

"Ha Ha. Very funny." His brother say out spite. "By the way Charlie says Hi." 

"I'll call her later." Sam smiled fondly, the red haired woman was an extension to their family and was like the sister they never have. 

Charlie is the genius head of IT department in Dean's company. They met Charlie almost two years ago when the two brothers were just fresh meat in Los Angeles. She was working under Roman industry before, then she quit it when she had enough of her boss' attitude. Later on, she helped Dean starting his business. The lady has her way to make you like her. 

And speaking of sister, Sam was reminded of his dilemma earlier.

"Hey, Dean." Sam started.

"Mmm.. Yeah?" Dean replied while chewing a mouthful of pie in his mouth.

"We should visit Bobby today." Sam glanced at his brother. Dean stop munching and there was this serious expression in his face. 

"Yeah, why the hell not." Dean shrugged and continue to munch his pies.

"Really?" Sam was completely dumbfounded. Usually Dean would protest. Well, not today apparently.

"Sure. We can't hide from them forever, so the sooner we see them the better." Dean said while drinking some coffee from his mug.

 

"Okay." Sam smiled then both of them finish their breakfast.


	6. Chapter 6

Tears will dry if you give them time,   
Life's a roller coaster keep your arms inside.   
\--- Conor Oberst

                            ---

"You ready?" The younger Winchester asked. Looking at His brother who was still sitting inside the passenger seat of the impala. The older Winchester has the look of a constipated man. Taking deep breathes as he try to compose himself.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Dean said wearily, reaching for the car handle and step outside. In front of him is Bobby's place; a two story house situated in the middle of a vast property, the yard was full of old cars, a big wooden sign was hanging on the porch, there was a stone pathway that leads them directly to the house. Both brothers made a beeline to the front porch, the feeling of nostalgia and nervousness doesn't sit well in their stomachs. 

They made it to the front door, both stared wearily on the door bell waiting to whoever would ring the bell first. Moments later no one seemed to have courage to ring it so the two brother had an argument somewhere along the line of:

"Dean, you're the older brother. You ring it first."

"Nuh uh! Age doesn't matter, you're the one who acts more mature, you ring it."

"Come on Dean, don't be a pussy. Just press that damn door bell."

"If I'm a pussy, why don't you press it yourself?"

"Nah, I'm busy over here."

"Busy doing what?"

"Busy arguing you to press the damn doorbell." 

"Fuck no! You do it." 

"Don't be a child. Just ring it you jerk, how hard can that be."

 

"Bitch please, I got my hands full of souvenirs we bought for Bobby. Just press the fucking button."

"You stubborn shi-"

"You know, as entertaining to see two adults arguing who will ring the bell not everyone have the luxury of time to watch you two being pussies."

"Shut up, Gabriel."   
Two brothers said in the same time.  
"Shut your cake hole, midget."

"Wait! what are you doing here Gabriel?" Sam asked looking at the man behind him who was wearing a green blouson and a loose grey jeans. 

Gabriel ignored them and went to press the button.Two pair of eyes looked in fear when the golden haired man finally press the doorbell two or three times.

"The door is damn open, idjit. Just come right in." A hoarse voice yelled from inside. While Gabriel left the two morons outside and came in.

"Good morning to you too, grumps!" They can hear Gabriel greet someone cheerfully.

"Oh, it's just you Gabe. Where's Castiel?" Bobby teasingly said. 

Hearing heavy footsteps came down.

"Just so you know my presence here is a blessing and you continue to deny it. While the little fucker locked himself in his room definitely sleeping." Gabriel complained while handling Bobby a paper bag. Bobby chuckled and took it.

"So where's grumpier?" Gabe looked left and right looking for someone.

"Out." Bobby replied taking a small white box from the paper bag.

"Well, I've got to go back to the shop. Tell grumpier I said hi." Gabriel clicked his heels rushing back to the door. 

"I sure will. Thanks for the doughnuts." Bobby watch him go and smiled fondly at the white box Gabriel just delivered. 

"By the way, Bobby. There are two weary cats here in your porch. Both looking so pathetic, you might get out here for a while." Golden hair poked on the door then wave goodbye at him again and zooms off. 

Bobby was confused no customer should be able to come right this hour so.

"Hey, Bobby." Both Winchester greeted him in unison. 

And Bobby, as wise as his age is, only say. "Balls!" 

                        ---

"Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?". Sam shook his head. Him and Dean are now being interrogated  in Bobby's living room, they told him everything that happened to them after they left. Just as Dean said, the older man didn't welcome them as Sam expect it to be.

"No, Bobby. We are really sorry for not contacting you for years. There's no excuse and we're so ashamed of what we've done." Sam explained with guilty expression show. In his face while Dean was quiet.

"Don't get me wrong, Sam. I'm glad you're both here. Er.. More likely relieved." 

Sam sensed that there's an incoming 'but' in his adoptive father's statement so he braced himself.

"So what? You coming here and say your sorry for not able to keep in touch with me for years will be able to fix everything. Then we hug, braid each other's hair and wear our friendship bracelet." Bobby snort, his frustration pent up. "Listen Boys, sorry doesn't always fix everything. There's no such things as magical fixes.You've got to earn your keep back again."

Bobby sighed looking so frustrated and hurt. He went to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee leaving Sam and Dean alone.

Dean turn to Sam and gave him a look that said 'told you moving here was a bad idea.'

"Shut up, Dean." Sam massages his temple. 

"I didn't say anything." Dean defended.

"Your silence is already mocking me." Sam sighed, shoulder went stiff went he heard footsteps coming.

Bobby sat back putting a tray he was holding.

"Get some ya idgit, I'm not a damn servant." He instructed getting his own cup. 

"Yes, sir." Dean involuntarily replied. 

"Don't call me that. You can still call me Bobby," he paused trying to find the right words to say.

"Look, I'm not mad at both of you. I'm just frustrated that neither of you just try to text a simple word of 'we're fine' to either Ellen and I." Bobby paused looking at Sam and Dean intensely. 

"We did look for you boys. Ellen, Jo and I." 

He looked like he was in a daze.

"We called for search party that night. We look every nook and cranny in this town but then we got nothing."

"Ellen was so worried, Jo was scared and I..I  was hurt. Neither of you said about leaving. Not even a goodbye and you vanish just as that." 

Bobby continued.

"And for you to come back like nothing happened, like it wasn't a big deal. Like you just went on a vacation and just bring some souvenirs." Index finger point out the paper bags that were lying on the floor.

"It's jus-." Bobby was cutoff when a slam of door was able to get their attention.

"Gummy bear, I'm back. Can you help me with the groceries." Sam and Dean almost choke upon hearing the nickname while Bobby just groaned and went ahead. 

"I didn't know we have visitors." A thin voice coming from the door said. Standing by the door was Ellen, their fierce yet caring foster mom that took care of after Mary's death.

"Oh." Ellen hesitantly look at both boys who was sitting stiffly in the couch. Frown line in her lips was seen as she march to the kitchen and trying to pretend he didn't see them. 

"Hey, Ellen." Sam reluctantly greeted as he stood up. 

"How are you doing?" Dean quickly followed. Sam immediately glared and give him a 'is that the best thing you can come up with.' look.

The middle aged woman just ignored them and busily put the groceries away.

"Goodness gracious woman, just why did you bought a lot of stuff." Bobby entered the house holding four plastic bags in each hands.

"It's like you bought the whole damn store." There was another man walked behind Bobby carrying the same amount of bags. 

 

"Dad?" Dean immediately acknowledge him. 

"Dean?" The man looked as surprised as him. 

"Sam." Glancing at  Sam who stood frozen beside Dean.

 

"Son. I.." John looked like he would burst into tears anytime now. He dropped everything and hug Sam first then Dean. 

Sam looked stricken, like he just saw a ghost, his face look ashen and look at the man in front of him. 

John Winchester was a retired marine, a loving husband to Mary Campbell, a good mechanic, a father to his two sons, and a well respected man. But the man who stood in front of him right now was nothing to the man he was in the past. Sam can only see a miserable and pathetic man. The deadbeat drunkard who is a poor excuse of a human being. He was just a ghost of his former self and it's quite devastating to look at.

 

John lifted his head and sniffed as he tried to held back the tears that are threatening to fall, and said, "I'm so glad to see you, boys. I thought I will never see you again." 

"What are you doing here, dad?" Sam asked stepping closer to him, eyes have gone cold.

John almost flinch under the hard gaze the younger Winchester gave. He rub his hands together then wipe it on his pants. "I deserve that." He laugh nervously and father all the courage to look his son straight into the eye. "I know you will never forgive me, both of you won't, and I was never a good father to you an-"

"Damn right, you never were a father to me or to Dean." Sam cut him off, his anger starts to show as he jabbed his father chest. 

"You left us," another jab. "With nothing."

"After you disappeared, did you know what happened to us?" He asked. "Did you even care to know what happened to us." 

John bowed his head feeling so ashamed of himself and Sam can only laughed bitterly.

"Sam, that's enough." Dean finally said and grabbed his brother's hand.

Sam just shook him off and continued, "Dean needed to quit school just to work, he took three jobs. Three fucking jobs everyday. Sometimes four if there's a job opening."

"He always got home late and tired. He gave up a lot of things just to feed me, to pay the rent and the bills. Which is clearly your responsibility!"

"It was your damn responsibility and my brother took it. He gave up his childhood just to take care of me and he gave up his future just to secure mine."

"That's enough, Sam!" Dean yelled at him and pulled him away from his dad. 

"Don't talk to him like that. He is still our father, treat him with respect." He defended him. Sam was taken a back by his brother sudden outburst and felt a little hurt when he took john's side. 

"You always do that, Dean. After all these years you always defending him." Sam shook his head, face expressing defeat and he turn to look at John. "Aren't you glad to have a son who still is loyal to you even you treated him like shit." 

Sam spat, pushed his father and dash out of Bobby's house. 

"Sam!" Dean called trying to chase after him but Bobby held him back looking at him with sympathy, and said. "Give him some space, son."

And so Dean did, looking at the figure until he can't see his brother anymore.

 

                        ---

It was already dark when Sam found himself in the familiar dark alley in between their apartment building and the 'lick-it-&-like-it' bake shop. After walking out of Bobby's house he wandered around for hours with no particular destination.

Tired and frustrated he lean his back on the brick wall and slowly slide down crouching beside a couple of trash can, facing a door. The small chatter behind the door can be heard outside and Sam was a little glad for the distraction. His anger forgotten and turn his head to the left were he can see some glimpse of people walking in the streets. He should head back to the apartment right now but he didn't want to face Dean. He can't help to feel a little mad at him, the way his older brother reacted feels like betrayal and he can't understand why Dean defended their father. So he stayed for another hour until someone came out from the back door.

"Moose?" A voice called. Sam lift his head up to look at who it was. The voice belong to one of the Novak brothers. Blue eyes look at him with recognition and confusion, as he said. "Why are you here?" 

Sam stood up and dust himself off trying to conceal his sour expression."Hey, Castiel." He greeted attempting to smile. The dark haired man step closer and took off the lid of the trash can, disposing the garbage bag he was holding. 

"You know this isn't a good place to hang out, right?" Castiel replied eyes look at him sharply. 

"Yeah, sorry about that. It's just I needed a quiet place to stay for a while." He mumbled, twiddling his thumbs. "I- I'll just leave, sorry for disturbing."

Castiel just hummed then he keep the door open gesturing for Sam to come in. But the younger Winchester doesn't seemed to understand.

"Come on, moose. If you want a quiet place you could have come inside." The raven haired man pointed out, patiently waiting for him to walk in.

"But I left my wallet inside Dean's impala." Sam reason out shifting his feet, feeling a little bit uncomfortable under his unfazed gaze.

"I'm sure Gabe won't mind," he simply said. " and I'm pretty sure this place isn't qualified to be a quiet place." 

The smaller man insist and Sam can't help but to take the offer, so he went in. He was inside the kitchen, the sweet aroma of pastries surround the place. There were two staff, one is a guy with a kick ass mullet and a brunette haired lady.  
Both employees seemed to stop whatever they were doing and look at Sam. Intrigued the two staff whispered at each other and Sam fidget somehow regretting taking up the younger Novak's offer.

Castiel clear his throat, and said. "Guys, this moose slash Labrador hybrid, Is Moose Winchester. Be good to him as he is Gabriel's friend." He gestured at Sam, earning some giggle from the lady and a shameless laugh from the mullet guy.

"It's Sam." The taller man corrected. 

"This is Hannah and Ash, our kitchen staff." Castiel gesturing at the two employees who were whispering to each other earlier.

"Nice to meet you, Sam." Hannah warmly said and shook his hand. "Likewise." Sam replied. 

Then Ash step in front with a huge grin playing in his mouth gesturing him a fist bump."It's good to see you again, man."

"Holy shit! Ash. It's been so long man. I thought you went to M.I.T after high school?" Sam gave him a fist bump and  hug him. 

Ash or as he also self proclaimed Dr. Badass, was His brother and Jo's friend in high school and later on he became Sam's friend too.

"Oh good, you know each other. Why don't you accompany him while I'll make some tea." Castiel announced as he went to the counter while Sam was accompanied by ash on one of the tables in the shop. 

Castiel heat some pot of water and put four white cups inside the tray. While he waits for the water to boil he took a small detour towards the storage room in which he found his older brother counting for inventories.

Castiel quietly observe his brother, who is seriously counting.

"32, 33, 34, 35... 41." Gabriel counts the pack of flour inside a box. In which Castiel decide to interrupt and whispered "22"

"43, 22, 23, 24... 30" in which Gabriel unconsciously followed.

"Wait a minute," Gabriel paused somehow bothered, realizing some thing was off. He turn around finding his younger leaning at the door wearing a smirk on his face. "Goddamit, Cassie!" He hissed as Castiel just laugh at him triumphantly.

"Calm down, i just want to say your moose is here and he seem kind of down. It would be better if you comfort him." Castiel suggested.

In which Gabriel automatically respond, "My what?! Damn it,Cassie get your ass back here!" And with that the dark haired man turn his back and walked back to the counter. 

Castiel patiently wait for the water to boil and turn toward where Sam and Ash were seated, talking about stuff he wouldn't care to know. Minutes pass the machine blinks green showing the water is ready and poured the content in each cups with tea bags inside. 

"Have some tea." Castiel offered placing each cup down and seated across the younger Winchester. The three of them exchange small talks and the dark haired man observe that Sam seemed more relax. Then moments later his brother finally came out to join them soon. 

"Ash help me close up, will you." He excused himself and drag Ash with him and left Sam and his brother, and by that Gabriel rolled his eyes knowing his little brother's antic. 

His attention turn back to the taller man who seem to be in deep thoughts.

"Gloomy moosy." Gabriel suddenly say. In which it broke Sam's chain of thoughts, and said "I'm sorry. What did you just say?" 

"So it does speak." He said making Sam confused and hesitantly face him. 

"I'm sorry. I spaced out it's just not my day, today." Sam said apologetically which give the height disadvantage man an idea. 

Golden haired swayed in the air when he stood up, grabbed Sam's hand and announced. "We are going on a adventure, Samsquatch." 

Without waiting for the taller man's reply he drag him out of the shop and walk him somewhere.

                          ---

"Really, Gabriel. The arcade?" Sam and Gabe are seated opposite to each other playing a player vs player games. 

"What? It's a fun place to spend time and in here I'll make you see my superior skill in video games." Gabriel said proudly as he move the joystick around like a pro.

"K.O! You lose." The machine suddenly announced making the amber eyes widen looking at his character laying dead on the ground.  
"Stop cheating!" He protested at the man who was laughing across him.

"Superior video games skill my ass." Sam said teasingly, taunting Gabriel who lose to him again for the fifth time. 

"You are such as bad as Cassie, every time he keeps winning." The losing man pout.  

"And you're a sore loser."

"I'm not a sore loser. Why don't you stop cheating and fight me fair and square."

"I am not cheating, Gabe. You're just bad at video games." 

"Fine! how about we play some shooting games." The shorter man pointed at the machine with two guns.

"Sure." Sam just shrugged and follow him.

"May the best man wins, Winchester." 

The shooting game was not a good idea as Gabriel doesn't have any fucking idea who to shoot or how to operate the gun. 

"Why are you hitting yourself, Gabriel ." Sam barked a laugh when his character keep on rotating.

"Fuck off."

"Stop hitting yourself, man and kill the zombies."

"You don't think I know that. This fucking controls are so hard. Give me a real gun and I can shoot those zombies right in the head with my eyes closed." 

"That's worst, you might end up just like your character."

"Fuck you, Samantha." And with that Sam laughed hysterically at the shorter man who give him the bird and walk off to the dance revo games they spent hours in the arcade until it's time to close. Both of them went to the park and settled down in the swings. 

Both men enjoys the moment of peace. The vast open sky was full of stars littering the night as they keeps on swinging feeling the rush of wind every time the swings comes back and forth.

"Thanks, Gabe." Sam breaks the silence.

"For what?" Gabriel asked and continue to swing higher.

"For cheering me up." Sam smiled softly; all his anger, sadness, and dismay from earlier disappeared. "You even let me win at all the games we played, didn't you?"

Gabriel can't help to smile, recalling some events from his past.

"That's what I always do when Cassie gets sad. We sneak around every night just to look for any open arcade place and spent our time playing, forgetting our problems." He tighten his grip at the chains and continue to swing huger this time.

"My brother does that to me too. Instead of the arcades we do go out to the library and after that he takes me to a burger joint and eat till our tummy hurts." Sam sighed heavily. 

"Dean's a good brother and an obedient son and sometimes I can't help..I can't help to feel bad for him. He always play his role as a brother and as a son so diligently, that sometime he forget to live his life as his own." 

Words flow out of his mouth so naturally that Sam just let it be while Gabriel just listen. 

"He always do it for me, he always do it for dad, and he always do it for other people.. Except for himself." 

" I'm sorry I'm rambling." He rub his face with his hand wiping the tears away. 

"It's okay. Just let it out." Gabe stop stirring the swing and wait for it to settle down before patting the crying winchester's head.

"My only wish for him is to be selfish just once in this life time. This is the reason why I move back here, it was supposed to be just me but as soon as my brother knew I was moving out, he immediately drop everything and just the same as before he left everything behind.  It was supposed to be a test, it was just a damn test. And he just... Fuck! Though he... He protest sometimes but he was still willing to drop everything for me and now here we are. God, I'm so selfish." Sam confessed. 

"Humans are naturally selfish and that's okay. What's important is that we acknowledge it." Gabe paused then his voice gone softer and said. "Acknowledging our sins that's better than denying it."

"After that we learned from it. Oh crap! I'm taking off the topic. What I meant was you can't keep on torturing yourself for what happened to your brother. It was his choice to accept those role Samantha. You might think he was forced but think about it, he would have just decide to leave you or disobey your dad but it was his, not yours neither your dad but his own. I may not know the full story but I get it. Don't you think  he deserve some break, cut him some slacked and respect his choices. I know it wasn't easy for you but it wasn't easy for him either." 

"Yeah, you're right." Sam felt a lot lighter now. "Damn, I never knew you are a deep person man." 

"Way to ruin the moment, Samalama." 

"It's Sam, you dick." 

"Great, we're back to dick jokes again. You officially ruined our candid moment." And soon both men fell back into nonsense talk.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm freezing in the sun,  
I'm burning in the rain.  
The silence,   
i'm screaming calling out your name.  
\---Hale 

                           ---

 

1989, January.  
Lawrence, Kansas.

"Did you feel that, John?" Mary gently tugs his husband's left hand and places it carefully on her belly.  
" This kid is a real kicker."

John slowly lowered his head and slowly presses his ear on Mary's stomach."Ya betcha! That was a strong kick. Watcha doing there little man, playing soccer in mommy's belly?" 

Mary chuckled upon seeing how adorable his husband is, talking to their five month old unborn child. It was New Year's Eve an hour ago and now try welcome the new year. They were nestled by the fire place, mattress placed on the wooden floor with yellow sheet covering it, pillows are scattered everywhere and a warm blanket wrap around the couple.

It was snowing hard outside and the world was envelope with darkness. The New Years ball had been dropped an hour ago and now the world was dead silent. Except, for Mary and john who were awake. 

"Are you gonna be our star athlete or our little soldier?" He gently caressed the spot where he felt the kick earlier.  "No matter what you want, son. You are my little champ, my little boy." 

"And mine too." Mary added smiling warmly at them. 

"I love you." John lift himself and look at Mary. 

"I love you too." She said and kiss him gently.

                          

 

May, 1989  
Lawrence Memorial Hospital, Kansas.

"Holy Mother of Jesus," Mary groaned holding her fully swollen belly, drench it sweat. Body lay still in the Hospital bed that was still moving towards the emergency room. "John Eric Winchester, you better pray this child will be cute. Ahhhhh.. This freaking hurts."

Seeing his wife face twisted in pain John felt his blood drained, following Her like a lost puppy. Time tick as he can only watch his wife giving birth, the bone crunching grip of Mary was the only sensation keeping him from panicking. Seeing lots of blood on the floor. It was the happiest and scariest moment of his life.

"You can do it, Mary. I'm here, push it like a pro for me, sweetheart." He whispered to her. "I'm here. I got ya."

He keeps on saying it like a mantra for half an hour only to stop when he finally hear the baby cry. He felt the world stop upon seeing his first child covered with blood and placenta. 

He is officially a father now, he felt the sense of excitement mix with fear, worry and happiness. 

The doctor handed the new born to the nurse in order to clean the baby then moments later the nurse came back with his son that was already wrapped with blue cloth.

"Congratulation, Mr. and Mrs. Winchester." The nurse smile and handed the baby to the father.

"Hey, there champ." John held Dean for the very first time. "Welcome to the world son."

He smiled and rock the child gently making the baby cooed.

"Look kid," he turn around facing a exhausted Mary. 

"This badass and beautiful woman is your mother. She just gave birth to you, Isn't she awesome." Slowly handing Dean to his wife then planted a kiss on her forehead. 

"You did good." Mary smiled.

 

"He look so beautiful." She said with a tired tone laced in her voice. "Our precious Dean."

Looking up to his husband, she said. "I love you." 

"I love you too."

                           

 

August, 1993.

Mary was busy folding the clothes. Her back ached from doing the chores all day. She rubbed her swelling almost nine months old belly and gently rested her back against the couch. 

"Mommy!" A four year old Dean dash in to the couch holding a stalk of sunflower. The boy was playing outside the garden for the whole day, the dirt all over his face is clearly an evidence beside from the mud stained small footprint on the carpet. Which was by the way very difficult to clean. 

The flower was picked in a poor manner where the stalk seemed to be pulled in a hurry and some I the petals fell out. "I bwought you this."

 

With a big goofy smile on his face he  present the sad looking flower and gave it to her. Mary can't bare to scold the kid for soiling her carpet, so she shook her head and took the flower. 

"Thank you, sweetie." She smiled and kissed his forehead. "But you need to take a bath." 

Dean nodded with a full smile on his lips. Then he ran up the stairs and rush his way to his bedroom. 

"Dean Winchester! What did I say about running inside the house." Mary chastised. 

"Sowwy, Mom." Dean said loudly.

 

Mary stood up and went inside the bathroom. Turning the faucet open making the water freely fall down the tub. Soon Dean appeared bringing with him a yellow rubber ducky and blue colored plastic boat.

"Mommy, do you think Sammy would have wike some fwowers?" Dean said with an innocent tone laced in his voice.

"Of course, sweetie and Sammy would like to play with his older brother." Mary lift the boy and placed him inside the tub full of warm water. 

"Reawwy?" Mary nodded and pour a small amount of shampoo and rub it all over Dean's hair.

"Do you think Sammy would have like me?" 

"Absolutely, you wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because he have an awesome big brother." Dean giggled and playfully splashing the water. 

"Hey, lovely." Mary turn around spotting his husband leaning at the door, looking fondly on both of them.

"Dad!" Dean squealed upon seeing the older man.

"Hey, champ." John approach him and settled beside Mary.

"Welcome back." Mary smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Let me take care of Dean and you go rest, okay." John offered.

"Thank you." Mary slowly stood up holding her big belly.

"I love you." John smiled fondly at her ever lovely wife.

"I love you too."

 

                         

January, 1994.

Life was good for John and Mary Winchester, having a stable source of income, a beautiful suburban house and well blessed with two wonderful children. Life was great for them and they didn't ask for more. 

 

But one night John Winchester's life abruptly change. It was a Thursday evening, the 28th of January.

John woke up coughing, he felt his throat swelling and in pain. Eyes wide open and instantly regret it when he sees the heavy smoke in the bedroom. His eyes starts to water he jerked up immediately, and was about to wake his wife but to his dismay Mary's side of the bed was empty.

The kids, he thought.

John ran up to the second floor and shake the older brother shoulder in order to wake up.

"Dad?" Dean groggily woke up, eyes till half open without explanation he carried Sam and grabbed Dean by the wrist. Soon the fire catches up and spread up the left side of the stair. John pulled a thick blanket and wrap it around the kids, he bravely crossed down the stairs adrenaline spread all over his body.

"Take your brother outside as fast as you can! Don't look back! NOW, DEAN, GO!" He instructed shoving the six month old baby on Dean's tiny hand. 

Confused and scared Dean obeyed and went the front door and run out the street. The poor little kid cried and panic watching their home burn, he look around and people starts to approach him. Some people help to calm him and some call the fire station.

Meanwhile.

"MARY!" The smoke was heavy in the first floor. John desperately yelled looking for his wife.

"John." A voice was heard somewhere and with his heightened senses he easily tracked down where it came from.

And to his horror he saw his wife being buried under a pile of burning woods. "No, no, no. MARY!" 

Without any gloves or cloth wrap around his hands he ignored the burning sensation and desperately removes the burning debris from his wife.

"John, the kids." Mary said weakly, her voice was rasped upon inhaling too much smoke. 

"Don't worry about them. They're already safe." He continues. "I'll get you out of here. Just hang on a little bit, sweetie." 

Cracked. Thud.

A bigger part of the ceiling fell down.

"Shit!" He coughed harshly the oxygen was leaving his body.

"John. Take care," Mary paused and coughed violently. "Take care of the boys."

"No! Mary we'll get out of here. Please just hang on." He continue to remove the debris but when his wife hand brush his and weakly hold onto his wrist.

"I love you." Mary said in whisper, then slowly the grasp loosen and her hand fell limp. 

"MARY! No! Keep those beautiful eyes open." Now his tears freely fell.   
"Please, I can't do this without you."

"I love you too." He whispered. Placing one last kiss on Mary's forehead.

He held his wife's limped hand and stayed beside the pile of debris not caring if he'll be burning along. 

Later on the firefighters were able to save him. 

After that people talked on how lucky he was to be alive but little to people know that Mary wasn't t the only one who died that night. A part of him died along with her and it was damn ravaging.

November, 2000.  
Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Six years have passed, the boys were growing up so fast Dean is now eleven while Sam is seven. Their lives were always on the road.

John never stayed long in one place, he keeps on moving from town to town dragging the boys along. That made it more difficult for the them. Later on when John realize that, this time they will be staying permanently in Sioux Falls where John have an acquaintance. Bobby Singer, also a retired marine and His long time buddy.  Who can help him take care of his sons.

It was thanksgiving night, people were busy having dinner with their family and giving thanks to whoever God they believe for all the blessing they received.

And the Winchester brothers were all alone in the house, their father seemed to be out again getting drunk to wherever bar he can get in to. Earlier this morning when Sam and Dean went to play in the park. Their playmates were busy talking how their parents seemed to be busy preparing for the feast. 

"How about you," A ten year old Jo look at Dean. "Will your dad do something for thanksgiving?"

She asked. Dean look at Sam, then back at Jo and hesitantly said. "Of course! Dad always cook something up for thanksgiving."

Lies. Their dad never celebrate thanksgiving, after their mom died his dad never celebrate any holidays and even his own two sons birthday.

"That's good." Jo beamed while little Sammy look at his older brother with a confuse look on his face. Dean shrug and continue to listen to Jo talking about foods.

Later that day Dean made up his mind to let his little brother experience a true thanksgiving dinner. 

He remember back then, when his mom was still alive. Every thanksgiving John would take him out somewhere by the park to play catch with him and when they come home, a smell of freshly baked pie and a warm smile from his mother greeted him home. 

It was good back then but now its just a pleasant memory of his childhood that Sam can never experience. 

So he decide to make something for dinner. Well, he did try to make some food for the celebration but to his disappointment the fridge was empty, his father seemed to forget to restock. All he can find is a can of soup by the kitchen cabinet.  
Dragging a chair by the stove to climb on he reach out for the cooking pot by the counter too and place it on the stove. 

Pouring the content of the soup from the can to the pot and turning the fire on medium, he hollered. "SAMMY! Go wash up and get back here for dinner."

"OKAY!" Little Sam replied and head back up stairs.

Patiently waiting for the soup to hear up he climb down the chair to get three bowls and climb back up.

"Dean," Sam called from upstairs, sound of footsteps going down was heard. "Will dad be home for dinner?"

Sam appeared and settled down by the table.

"Hmm. I don't know, Sammy." Dean turn the stove off and carefully poured the steaming soup on the two empty bowls. He put the lid on the pot before climbing down the chair.

"But don't worry about it. Thanksgiving dinner is served." He said carrying the two steaming bowl and place it on the table.

Making Sam relieved. He thank his big brother and began to dig in.

"This is delicious." Sam hummed.

"That's just canned soup, Sammy." Dean points out.

"I don't care. Silly Dean! Whatever you made is always delicious." The younger Winchester protest shoving a spoonful of soup.

"Whatever you say, Samantha." Sam groaned upon hearing the nickname but still appreciated the lively banter. 

In which what made him realize that night is, after the tragedy that happened to them, he was truly thankful for that he had his big brother to make everything better.

"Happy thanksgiving you jerk." 

"Happy thanksgiving, bitch!"

 

April, 2013.

"GIVE ME THE FUCKIN' BOTTLE, BOY." John yelled at Sam. He was enjoying his bottle of rum when his youngest took it away. 

"Dad, that's enough!" Swatting his father's hand when he tries to grab the alcohol. 

"DAMN IT BOY! HAND THAT BOTTLE OVER OR I WILL MAKE YOU." John hissed clumsily trying to straighten his posture. 

"WILL YOU DAD?" Sam snapped, glaring daggers straight to the man. "WELL FUCKING FINALLY, YOU CAN DO SOME STUFF BESIDE FROM KILLING YOURSELF TO DRINK, YOU PATHETIC DRUNKARD."

"DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT BOY. I'M STILL YOUR FATHER AND YOU BETTER TREAT ME WITH RESPECT." John leveled his glare on his son. His anger seemed to perk   
up especially when he is drunk.

"My father?" Sam laugh dryly then shake his head. "That's hilarious. You never were a father to me. You weren't the one taking care of me and you weren't the one who was there for me."

"And you call yourself a father. YOU! Who never came home early just to check on his children. YOU, who never sober up just to take care of us. You're just my dad in title but you never were one. Bobby is much more closer of a father to the both us than you ever were." 

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT. AS LONG AS YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE, I AM STILL YOUR FATHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT." John reasoned out.

"YOUR HOUSE! THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE. YOU DON'T EVEN PAY THE RENT HERE, DAD. DEAN'S THE ONE WHO PAYED FOR THE RENT, THE BILLS AD THE FOOD. WHILE YOU JUST WASTE AWAY." Without thinking John shoved him down the ground made him lose his grip on the bottle of rum as it shatter on he floor.

 

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" John curled his hands into a fist and for the first time hits Sam on the face. Luckily Dean, who came from work, just arrive home and saw his father hit is baby brother. He quickly dive in   
and break his dad and Sam apart.

"Go to your room, Sam." Dean ordered tightening his hold on his father. 

"But De-" Dean immediately cut him off. "JUST GO!"

And Sam did as he scrambled his way upstairs. He close the lock the door behind him and listen to his brother and father arguing.

 

"Let me go, Dean. I'll teach that brat a lesson." He heard his father protest. 

"That's enough, dad. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! Did you just hit him?" 

"DID YOU JUST HIT MY BABY BROTHER! YOUR OWN SON."

"YES, THAT KID NEEDS DISCIPLINE." 

"FOR GOODNESS SAKE DAD. YOU HIT YOUR SON."

"Yes, I know that and your point."

"YOU'RE SO FUCKING DRUNK TO CARE, HUH? I DON'T CARE IF YOU HIT ME DAD BUT I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS IF YOU HIT SAM AGAIN."

"WHATEVER! THIS LIFE IS HELLISH ANYWAY. YOU AND YOUR BROTHER DISAPPOINTS ME. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I WISH IT WAS EITHER YOU OR SAM DIED ON THAT FIRE NOT MARY."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Sam heard a loud cracking sound then a slamming of doors.

Sam was shock that his father dared to hit him, touching the throbbing cheek he quietly cried himself to sleep.

Later that day Sam woke up late in the afternoon. The sun was in its highest pick in the sky, he perched up trying to relieve the knot that was in his neck. 

"Hey, Sammy." Dean poked his head through the bedroom door. "Are you okay?" 

Sam knew he should probably say that's his okay and put on a mask so that his brother will not need to worry. 

"I'm.. I" he want to say 'I'm fine' but the words died down in his throat. 

He forced himself to breathe in and out until he calm himself. Dean notice his brother's reluctant expression and sat beside him on the bed.

"I'm not okay, Dean. I'm trying but I'm so damn tired of dealing with that every time." Sam almost choked up when he starts crying. 

"I'm really sorry, Sammy. If I just came home early you woul-" Dean was about to say something when Sam cut him off. "You could have come home early and then what? He hit you instead of me." 

He look at his brother who avoid his gaze, and said. "Better me than you." 

"No, Dean. That doesn't make it all better. It doesn't make everything better. Dad is hurting us and it's not healthy." Sam explained.

"Then what are we supposed to do then. Call the police?" Dean finally turn around and meet his gaze.

"Runaway." Sam suggested.

"What?!"

"Let's runaway. Just you and me, find a new town and meet new people. I don't care where as long as we are away from dad." Dean was quiet Sam knew he didn't like his idea. 

He laugh bitterly, and said. "You know what. Never mind that. Just forget what I have said it was a dumb idea."

"Okay." Dean replied.

"Okay." He mumble eyes trailed to the distant view by the window.

"Then pack your bags then, we will leave now." Dean stood up and.

"Wait, what?"  

"Yup, let's do your dumb idea." Dean said, gracing a small smile on his face. "A moose, baby and me ridding into the sunset is a dream come true. Just like what the old song say 'Let's ride into the sunset together   
Stirrup to stirrup, side by side   
When the day is through.' Right?" Dean winked and ruffled his younger brother's hair.

"Shut up, burnham." Sam laughed and slap his brother's hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Sammy. Be ready by ten or I'll leave your ass." Dean chuckled motioning to get out the room.

"Thanks, Dean." Sam said sincerely and starts to pack up.

After getting every important things pack he headed outside where his brother was already on the driver's seat with music blaring on. Sam sat inside the passenger seat.

"To the sunset?" Dean glanced at his younger brother.

Sam smiled and said. "To the sunset." 

Then they drive off without looking back.

 

                          


	8. Chapter 8

Leave all your love and your loving behind you,

Can't carry it with you if you want to survive.

\--Florence + The Machine

Dean didn't know what to do, he was pacing back and forth in their shared apartment. Glancing at the clock hanging on the wall by the fireplace, the right hand points at eleven and the short hand is between nine and eight. The seconds tick heavily and he was worried, he didn't know where his little brother now.

The family reunion didn't go as what they've expected, it has been an emotional roller coaster this morning. The unexpected appearance of the man, who he had looked up to when he was a young boy before was the high light of the day, then the outburst that the younger Winchester did added up and everything was chaotic. His mind was clouded with hurt, anger, longing and shocked. It was too much.

He can never forget the betrayed look in Sam's face, the sharp sound of the door slamming and the look of regret that his father expressed. He wanted to follow Sam but the look on his father's face was like chains bounded on his feet preventing him from walking away. 

 

"Son, I know what I did was unforgivable. I don't even have the right to show my face to you or your brother but you have to know. I regret it, I never wanted to hurt any of you. The moment I first hit you when you were seven, I hated myself for doing it. So I drink and wallowed myself in sorrow that I've forgotten to take care of you." John said with so much remorse. "But you, my little boy, was braver than I could be. You were so young when you took my responsibilities and for that you grew up so fast. I hated myself more. I know that I failed you, I failed both of you. What I said about you and your brother on the day I first hit Sam, it was the last straw. You have to know, Dean. I didn't mean any of those words, I never could and I never will but instead of saying that I left that day. I went back to Lawrence, ran like a coward and left you and Sammy with nothing. I.. Just.."

Dean remember his father devastating cries. He wanted to comfort the man but he remained frozen.

"The day I lost your mother, is also the day I lost myself too. It's not a good reason but it's the only thing I can give."

He knew that even at a young age, he knew that and he let his father grieve for years. He had to grow up in order to take care of Sam and his own father too.

"I forgive you." John darted his gaze immediately to his son. Surprise and bewildered looked on his face was visible. To be honest Dean almost flinched at what he said, he was as surprised as John when the words came out but he was able to composed himself before acting it. He avoided situation like this, avoided it like a plague but now he is having one heart-to-heart talk with his father and he is torn between dashing out Bobby's door like a mad man or be a decent human vein and listen to the man. Unfortunately is too late for him to leave and so he stayed.

"I forgave you a long time ago, Dad." 

"You should not. I'm a failure of a father, Dean."

"But I did Dad. I made peace to myself, I understand you more than Sam can, more than anybody can. I lost my mother that day too Dad. But I knew you love her so much and it was enough of a reason for me to let you grieve. I was so scared to lose my father too, so I let you grieved. I took all the responsibilities. I worked, I take care of Sammy, and I looked after you. I didn't mind because I was hoping that someday you'll come back to us."

"To be frank, Sam doesn't like the way I handle things and the way I believe in you. He said I was being stupid but the thing is he didn't know what you were before. The man before the tragedy, the man who love his wife so much and the man who is a good father to his son. We all made mistake, Dad. What's important is how will you make up for it."

 

"I'll make it up for you and your brother. I swear!"

"Okay, I believe you." 

Dean sighed recalling all the things he have said. He made his peace with his dad and now the only problem is how he will deal with Sam. He stop pacing and plunked down the sofa, reaching for the remote and turn on the tv. The static sound was able to replace the silence trying to relax and take off his mind with all these thoughts. Unfortunately, he can't shake it off long enough, becoming more agitated. He can't relax until Sam comes home.

Hours tick and there was still no sign of his brother, he took his phone out of his pocket and texted. 

To Bitch: Hey man, I know you're mad I just want to know if you're still alive or not in jail right now. Don't be a dick and call me Back, eh?

He pressed send and settled his phone beside him. 

Buzzed. An unknown number flashes on his screen, eyebrows arched together worried that something happened to Sam he quickly swipe it.

From unknown: Hello, there less attractive brother. I'm just here to inform you that Sam is...

Panicked. The message left him hanging.

To unknown: Whoever this is tell me what the fuck is going on?!

From unknown: LMAO! Calm down godzilla. I'm just saying that Sam, your tall and handsome brother is...

To unknown: IS THIS THE MIDGET?! I SWEAR I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OFF IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE SAM IS?

From unknown: Ding ding ding, someone did their homework. Gabriel Novak at your service. 

To unknown: WAIT. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?!

from unknown: He he. This is fun! I can drag this convo for the whole night. 

Dean nearing his limit press the call button and it rang.

Beep.

But the unknown or Gabriel, Dean suspected, decline his call.

To unknown: ANSWER THE CALL YOU ASSHOLE!

From unknown: Nah.

To unknown: FINE AT LEAST TELL ME WHERE THE HELL IS SAM?!

From unknown: Nah. 

To unknown: YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU BETTER TELL ME WHERE MY BROTHER IS OR I'LL CALL COPS ON YOU.

From unknown: Not on that attitude, mister. Plus Sam doesn't want to see you now. 

Dean winced. He should have known better, he would have look for Sam after the talk with his father.

To unknown: At least tell me if his okay. Please.

From unknown: awhhh. You're already warming up to me, Deano. Since you text the magic word, Sam's totally fine but he won't be home tonight. So don't wait up for him.

To unknown: Where will he be staying? 

From unknown: LOL. You think that I would fall for that? Nice try but you ain't getting any info from me. All I can say is he'll be fine. 

To unknown: Fine. Just make sure he'll be safe, okay? Or else.

From unknown: Overprotective much? Do you have a brother complex or something. Like in those hentai anime. 

To unknown: First of all, fuck you. Second, gross I need to bleach my brain later. And lastly can we have a mature conversation for once. 

From unknown: Bossy. 

To unknown: GABRIEL NOVAK!

From unknown: Ooh, full name. I like it when you go bossy at me. It makes my inside tingles.

From unknown: Don't worry. I'll make sure your lil bro is safe, ttyl.

 

To unknown: Okay, Thanks man.

From unknown: Omfg! The Dean Winchester just thanked me. I am so gonna screenshot this. Awhhh, is deano starting to like me? 

To unknown: Not a chance in hell. 

From unknown: Awhh. I feel so loved. 

To unknown: Ugh! You're so annoying. Whatever.

From unknown: I'm adorable. But really gtg. 

Dean stared at his phone screen for a while knowing what to do in the big empty apartment alone. He press the lock button and put his phone back to his pocket, he stood up and took three bottles of beer from the fridge. 

 

He walk right pass the living room and into his bedroom. Dean didn't bother turning on the light and quickly dive on his bed, the cold beer on his both hands and stayed unopened as he stared blankly at it. The silence in his own room was quite haunting, he flip the bottle cap off and gulp down the beer greedily tasting the pungent flavor. The three bottles of beer were now empty and Dean hope that it would help him fall asleep tonight.

 

\---

 

"Damn it, Cassie. You've got to help me." The pleading tone of his older brother's voice snapped his attention away from his laptop. 

"Seriously, Gabe. Did you get a ticket again." Castiel remove the black framed reading glasses he was wearing and put it on the table.

"No! I did not." He said slightly offended and sat across him with eyes rolling at him.

"Did you prank Mrs. Lewis again? Didn't she threatened to sue you if she catches you next time." Gabriel shook his head and groaned remembering how stuck up Mrs. Lewis from the floor below their apartment was.

"Did you kill someone?" Castiel squinted his eyes, a little bit worried for him. Sometimes his prank can go too far to the extent someone will be injured.

"Ugh, can you let me talk." Gabriel grunted. "I need that pretty brain of yours to meddle." 

"No." 

"Please! The Winchester brothers are driving me crazy. The older brother is biting my head off through text, hell that man can be so persisting. He keeps calling and texting my phone and I even catch him spying on me last night. Then the Sasquatch follows me like a lost puppy for three days with those sad teary eyes. You've got to help me, brother. Please."

"Still no." 

"I'm begging you, little brother. You need to help me fix their relationship."

"Gabe, you know that I don't like to meddle on other people's affair." 

"Please, Sam has been staying here for three days and he keeps forcing me those green shit healthy food. I'm starting to stress out cause he keeps on taking away all the sweet things that I was about to eat."

"Wait, the moose is staying here?" Gabriel nodded. " and I didn't know about this because?" 

"Oh please, you've been staying up, later than usual this week. Doing who knows what then you wake up very late in the afternoon." Gabe argued. "So for the love of sweets I'm begging you to do your magic. Talk to them or trap them in one room, I don't care just get them off my case. The both of them is giving me a big headache."

"Oh, that's why my instant noodles were suddenly replaced with a jar of pickles." He pondered.

"YES! Do you have any idea how disgusting are those." Castiel chuckled then a smirk slowly creep on his lips. He is going to have fun with this.

"My answer stand still, Gabe." Castiel said then he point his index finger to his brother. "You mix with them you fix them." 

Gabriel was about to argue when the front door swing open. Sam Winchester strode inside their apartment wearing a black ripped jeans perfectly outlining his sexy ass and a grey t-shirt with words in bold black letters saying 'Sexy Beast.'

"Gabriel, I'm back." A shuffling of plastic bags were heard. "Hey, Castiel." 

"Hello, moos-" he was cut off with a sharp glare coming his older brother. 

"Sam. Hello, Sam." He greeted slightly reluctant and force a smile on his face. Sam hummed upon hearing the greeting and continue to rummage on the bags he was carrying.

"Gabriel and I are going to make some panzanella for dinner, do you want us to make something you like?" Sam offered looking first at Gabriel then to Castiel. 

"A panza what now?" Gabriel asked with confusion then brush it off. "Well, whatever I'd like some chocolate cake and oh! Let's make some white frosting to go with it." 

"Not you Gabe, you've been eating a lot of sweets in this lifetime and now you're gonna make up for it by eating healthy foods before you get diabetes." Sam lectures him while hearing a groan from Gabriel and Castiel can't help to chuckle silently knowing his brother is so screwed.

"You don't have to make anything for me, Sam. I'd be out for tonight." Castiel informed them earning a questioning look from his brother and a nod from Sam. He grabbed his laptop and went back to his room but before that he mouthed a 'good luck' to his brother. 

\---

After escaping his brother sickening domestic scenario in their apartment Castiel sat comfortably in one of the booths of his favorite restaurant slash bar.

"Good evening, Castiel. To what do we owe the pleasure of you gracing us with your presence tonight." Jo, the blond haired waitress greeted him with a pen and pad on her hand. She was wearing a white half apron with the road house logo printed in the middle wrapped tightly around her waist.

"My brother and his moose." Castiel said in amusement. 

"Ohhh, another one of Gabriel's conquest. I see." She said jokingly. " I assume you'll order the usual."

"Yes, please." He said politely watching her write it down the pad.

"Coming right up." She said with a wink. As soon as she left Castiel took out his laptop from his bag and turned it on and begin to do some work.

"Dude, where the hell is your brother?!" Castiel tore his gaze away from the laptop and met a pair of furious green eyes. 

"Oh hey freckles. I'm doing fine thanks for asking. How are you?" Castiel said sarcastically and continue to tap his keyboard.

"Not asking. Where's you brother?" He asked again this time in calmer tone.

"How should I know?" Castiel retorted not sparring any glance to the man who was glaring daggers at him.

"He texted me to meet up here. Telling he knows where Sam is." Dean explained hands against the table as he lazily sat down the booth across him.

"And should I care because?" The consistent tapping of his keyboards somehow irritates the man across him.

"Because my brother and I haven't met face to face since Tuesday." Green eyed showed worry in face as Castiel look at him closely. The man's stubbles were more visible, layers of bag were present under his eyes. 

"Look, I don't know what Gabe told you about and I have no idea what's going on between you and your brother but right now I'm hungry and I'm gonna chop your genitalia off with a fork if you ask me again to where my brother's location is, okay?" Castiel shut his laptop off and put it back in his bag. Just in time Jo came back with his food and drink. 

"Here's your bacon cheese burger and coke." She place it in front him then look at Dean. "Hey, Dean. Didn't know you two are dating." 

"What?! Hell no! I'm not dating him. I'm here for Sammy, which clearly is not here tonight." Dean said laced with a tone of frustration and worry. 

"He still not talking to you." She looked at him with sympathy while Dean shook his head. 

Jo laid a hand on his hand and said. "Give him time. He'll come around when he is ready." She clasped his hand then took her pen and pad. "Would you like something to eat or drink tonight?"

"Yes, the roadhouse burger and a pint of beer. Whatever is on tap and oh! Some pie." Jo scribbled all of his order then smiled and said. "Alright. I'll be back in a sec."

Then she left them behind. 

"So, um." Dean clear his throat when Castiel was eyeing his burger. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier."

"Mhmm." Castiel hummed while gently taking the burger off the plate and smelled it. The mouth watering aroma of the patty got his stomach growling. 

"I'm just looking out for my brother, ya know. I love that kid but sometimes he is just so reckless." Dean tried to get Castiel's attention but then the guy paid him no mind and took the first bite of the burger. His low moaned was loud enough for Dean to hear and that made him uncomfortable.

"Dude! Should I leave you and your burger alone." Dean said trying to wave off the awkwardness. Castiel look at him flatly while munching his food. "Ugh! You are not helping."

Castiel sighed and put his burger down. His brother definitely plan this meet up as he can see Sam and him walk to the restaurant. 

"What do you want Dean?" He finally asked.

"I want to know where my brother is." Dean said seriously and Castiel tried to avoid looking at the two distant figure walking in the street.

"And if you know where your brother is. What will you do?" 

"I uhh.. I just want to check if his fine." Dean said reluctantly fiddling the hem of his shirt.

 

"You are not sure what to do, don't you?" Castiel point out. "What did you do to make your brother angry at you?" 

"Dude, he's not angry.. I mean maybe frustrated or betrayed.. Okay, okay he is a little bit angry and he has the right to be but he can't just avoid me like that." Dean mumbled shying his gaze away from Castiel who was looking at him with his piercing blue eyes.

"What did you do?"

"Uhh. I kinda sided with my dad rather than him and he storm off instantly." 

"There's must be some kind of history among you, him and your dad, for him to storm off."

"Yeah, kinda." Dean admitted he was aware that he was sharing too much to Castiel but he seemed can't stop and he felt a little better talking to someone else. "Sammy and I didn't have a good childhood but my dad. He did his best taking care of us."

Dean gulped and lower his gaze on the table. He shouldn't talk about his problem to a stranger, well Castiel is not completely a stranger but an acquaintance, he never talk about this stuff to anyone especially to Sam scared that he'll be judged or viewed as weak. But it's too late to stop now, the words flowed. "Dad was a dead beat father when we were growing up. He was a drunkard and because of that Dad would hit me when I don't do things he ordered. Sam hated him for it, he saw how destructive, abusive and pathetic our father is and he hated him more for it. So when dad hit Sam for the very first time, we decided to leave him and move out. I was 24 at that time when we moved to California at first , Sam is the smart one between us so he got himself a full scholarship in Stanford and I work in some garage to pay the place we rented and support him. When he graduated top in his class."Dean paused and smiled, Castiel saw how the man in front of him brightens up and can't help himself to smile a little.

"I was so proud of him, still am. Then he was instantly hired by a well established firm in L.A. so we move town again but this time Sammy was the one who support me and help me making my own company. He also met Jess their, his lovely fiancé. I was happy, he was happy. Life was good.. Not really, some stuff happened and we move back here and now things got complicated when Dad showed up."

"So let me get this straight, when you saw your abusive, pathetic and selfish father you sided with him rather than siding your brother, who stick with you through thick and thin?" 

"Don't talk about my father that way." Dean hissed slamming his fist at the table, he doesn't like anyone insulting his father in front of him. "He is a good man."

"Hmm, defending your father. Aren't we? Maybe what Sam did was appropriate for that situation. I mean if my father was like John I would have punched him the very moment I see him." Castiel said provoking him as he can see from the corner that his brother and the young Winchester froze in place listening intently at them. He didn't miss the thumbs up his brother gave while he internally rolled his eyes and want to kick his ass.

 

"You don't understand, my father was grieving. My mother died when I was four, a fire took her away from us and my father was so sad losing his precious wife." Dean clarifies balling his hand into a fist. "And Sammy didn't know that, I let Dad hit me, shout at me, and maybe berate me. I let him because he was grieving and I can't even do anything to cheer him up." 

"So letting yourself be a human punching bag would make it okay?" He lift his gaze up and look at the man across him. Castiel snorted and looked at him with disgust. This was what he was talking about, the judge mental look on the other man's face was evident. Without Dean noticing blue eyes stole another glance right to the corner where Sam Winchester's face twitches in anger and knuckles has gone white, Provoking the moose was working. 

"Aren't you being such a good boy, are you freckles? Such a good boy obedient like a soldier. So loyal and selfless." Castiel's gaze turned cold and mock him. He looked away regretting sharing his problem to this man. His hands were trembling and he felt like crying but he tried to hold it. 

"No, I'm not... I just, I know dad long before Sam did. He wasn't always a bad father, people change overtime but I will never forget how good of a father he was." Dean scratched the peeling wood off the table.

"Why not tell that to your brother then." Castiel was pointing at something behind him, his eyes follow the trail on the man's index finger and saw his younger brother right fist raised with tremor and eyes were bloodshot red. In a blink of an eye he heard a sound of someone being hit and plates breaking.  
"Don't you dare talk to my brother that way." Sam threatened his eyes lock on Castiel, who rub his jaw. Face littered with red spot, surely that would leave a bruise. "And don't talk to my father like that." 

He pulled the man's collar swinging another fist colliding Castiel's right cheeks. Dean agape in surprise for his brother's sudden appearance. 

"You don't get to insult any of my family like that you bastard." Sam keeps hauling him, grab both of his shoulder and shake him. Castiel somehow let him and didn't fight back. He didn't even defend himself and let Sam take his anger on him. Somehow Dean was able to see the small smile on Castiel's face that was directed at him. 

"Woah there, Samantha. That's enough you're hurting my brother." Gabriel appeared behind him and pulled them apart. 

"And he was hurting mine." Sam protested staring angrily at Castiel.

"And you weren't hurting him?" The blue eyed man finally speak up. "Like, I don't know. Not talking to him or maybe avoiding him."

Sam's hold loosen. His face now is showing guilt as his anger lessen. He let go of Castiel who dust himself off and look curiously to the taller Winchester.

"You better not start a fight here, Sam." Jo appeared with Dean's order and gave him a warning tone on her voice. Disappointment was clear on her face and all knowing look 'you're going to explain this later.' Jo gave Dean his order then left.

Castiel grab his laptop and head to the bathroom while Gabriel followed.

Sam watch as the man in the trench coat and his brother disappear in the crowd then his attention back to his brother who was sitting on the booth. 

"Was that true? Everything you said." Sam asked reluctantly and drag his ass to sit down where Castiel was sitting earlier. His brother nod ad took a sip on the beer.

"Why didn't you tell me, Dean?" Sam asked frowning, worry lines are visible running his hand through his hair.

Dean smiled sadly and said, "Sometimes an older brother need to protect his younger brother from the truth." 

"But if I knew that, I would have been more understanding. You didn't have to face it alone, Dean. It's not just your responsibility, it's mine as well." His little brother reassured him, hand patted his shoulder to comfort him and Dean felt the tension and worries leave.

"Yeah, I know. You're a grown ass man now, so you can handle whatever truth there is. Will you be able to face dad soon?" Sam nod and took the beer from Dean's hand then chugged it all down.

"It's time to grow some balls now, bitch!" Dean said brightly.

"Shut up, jerk." 

Meanwhile somewhere in the road house restroom.

A pair of Amber eyes peek through the small cracked of the from the inside and let out a sighed of relief. 

"You know, Gabe. You owe me a big one for this." Castiel was facing in front of the mirror and patching the bruises up with frozen peas that Jo handed him earlier. 

"Definitely! Whatever you did worked." Gabriel said slowly shutting the door close. He almost winced when he saw some bruises turning purple, Sam did a number on his younger brother's face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Gabe asked and approach his brother by the sink. "Yeah, I had worse." 

Castiel just smiled trying to ease his brother's concern.

"Here." Gabe hand him a concealer, Jo handed along with the frozen peas. He was thankful that the waitress was thoughtful and caring.

"You know warn me next time." His younger brother sighed and applied the make up to cover the bruises. "Sorry, brother. You gave me no choice."

"Yeah, yeah. Remind me not to anger the moose next time. The man can give a punch." Castiel's hand travel to his right cheek and out an amount of concealer. 

"Oh yeah, don't wanna be the receiving end to those punch man." Gabe said cringing remembering the crunching sound when Sam's fist connected to Castiel' jaw. "Thanks, brother for not fighting back." 

"Whatever. Just promise you've to stop putting me on the spot, Gabe." Cas closed the concealer and handed it back to Gabe. He slung his bag on his right shoulder and walk out the door. He look by the booth where he was seated and notice the two brothers talking and laughing. 

"How about we crash their party?" Gabe suggested with a full smirk on his face, the little devil is planning something.

"Nope, I'm out don't wanna add another bruised painted on my face again." Castiel clung to his trench coat and was about to move towards the exit when Gabriel grab him and drag him along to the booth.

"Hey, boys. Watcha say we party up all night." Gabriel winked watching the two brothers who were seated in the booth snapping their heads and look at him.

"Ugh! I thought you left." Dean groaned rubbing his face to show annoyance.

"Rude! After everything we went through Deano. The sexting and the occasional phone sex." Gabe slide down beside Sam and he let go of Castiel's hand and gesture to his brother to sit down. The younger Novak sighed and he had no choice but to join them.

"Scoot over, freckles." He said and Dean scooted to his right. 

"What's he doing here?" Sam protest still mad at the raven haired man. 

"Excuse me, I was here first having a wonderful dinner which you and your brother ruined." Castiel pointed at the broken plate and a discarded burger as a clear evidence from earlier event.

"Well, I won't apologize for punching you. You deserved it." Sam haughtily in which Castiel immediately say, "Then good for you."

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop it. No more fighting and more drinking." Gabe tried to shift the forming tension then drag Sam along the counter to get some drinks. 

Dean cleared his throat to get Castiel's attention. "Thank you."

"For what?" Blue eyes turn around and quirk his brows at him. 

"You did it on purpose," he said while pulling the peeling beer sticker from the empty bottle."The insults. You knew Sam was there and you make me confess the side of my story without holding anything out. You are one manipulative bastard."

"And I'm really thankful." Dean smiled, green eyes showed sincerity and Castiel was awed. He never knew that those brilliant green can be so mesmerizing and he can't look away, he was reminded of summer days, resting under those green shades with wind blowing gently the feeling with content and no worries. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He forced himself to look away, watching the next booth in front of them instead where six people tried to fit in one booth.

"I don't know about you but I like angering your brother to the extent of physical harm but you wouldn't let it escalate to that, right?" He teasingly said with a grin on his face that made the man chuckled.

"Of course, you impressed me. That you are given the privilege of being part of my wayward friends." He uttered extending his hand offering a handshake, the sudden action made Castiel tilt his head in befuddlement. "Now is the time for you to shake my hand, Cas." 

"Cas?" The raven haired man reluctantly stuck his hand out and Dean shook them with enough pressure.

"Yup, as my new friend I'm entitled to give you a nickname it's one of the perks being in the club." Cas squinted and protest that he didn't sign up for any club in which made Dean laugh again, amuse at how peculiar his new friend. Somehow Dean felt light and it was amazing, after the damn fiasco he wanted to enjoy this night. Soon Sam and Gabriel went back to the table and brought two bottles of tequila and a copious amount of beer pitcher.

"Really, Gabe." Castiel protest looking at the huge amount of alcohol his brother bought. "Are you trying to poison us?"

"Oh no, Cassie. You ain't escaping this." His brother said and give Castiel the first shot. "I'm pretty sure the Winchester brother would like to meet happy drunk Cassie."

"Happy drunk Cassie?" Dean asked curiously and heard the man beside him groaned. 

"Oooh! You'll meet him a couple of shots later Deano." Gabriel smirked something about his expression says that he'll find out soon.

All four of them takes turn in taking shots and in the fourth shot Castiel was more talkative, his gestures and expressions are more slacked and relaxed. 

"He he he. My mouth taste funny. Does my mouth taste funny? Oohh, I'm gonna ask that hunky guy over there." The raven man giggled and approach the stranger who was playing pool. He whispered something to the man in which made the man laugh then in a blink of an eye they were kissing. Castiel, the awkward and quiet guy, is exchanging saliva with the stranger heatedly. 

"Holy shit!" Dean and Sam gasped in surprised while Gabriel enjoyed watching his brother having fun.

"Dude! Your brother is sucking face with a man." Dean announced and somehow.  
Gabriel took it as an insult, and said. "I can see that, is there a problem with my brother being promiscuous?" 

"No, no. I mean he just scored while we losers here just watch." Dean explained downing another shot and place the next round to his brother. 

"Gah! This shots are nasty." Sam grumbles the moment the burning liquid travel down his throat.

"Oh, Cassie's back." Gabriel announced and instantly he blue eyed man plunked down beside Dean with swollen lips and lazy smile. "How was hunky over there, brother?"

"He said my mouth tasted like lime." Castiel cheered and took the shot glass from Gabriel grasped.

"I can't believe this. First off all, dude tmi. Second, fiery mother of dragons that was awesome. Didn't know you have in you, Cas." Dean proclaimed then an idea crosses his mind. "How about this, let's do a challenge." 

"That's interesting." Gabriel's eyes brighten up.

 

"If you can ask at least 20 numbers from anyone, be it male or female, who are present here tonight. Your brother, Sam and I would do whatever you want with wearing only our underwear." Dean proposed.

"Dude!" Sam remarked while Gabriel perked up and said. "I'm in."

"Sorry Sammy, two against one." Dean grinned while Castiel contemplates.

 

"As the wise man, who my brother let me watch last week, once said. Challenge accepted." He said while stretching the word 'challenge'.

"Hey there beautiful. I can't help but see you..." They watched as Castiel walked in zigzag approaching the girl wearing a black dress.

Dean watch in anticipation then catches his brother silently gave him a bitch face. "Dude, don't look at me like that. Relax, it's impossible for him to accomplish that." 

"You think my lil bro can't do that?" Gabe raise a brow at him. 

"Nope, he can't. Even I can't do that." Dean said with confident. 

"I bet you a hundred bucks. That my little brother can do the challenge." Gabriel offered.

"Deal." Dean said and honored the bet by shaking Gabriel's hand.

"You guys are crazy." Sam mumbled. 

A bottle and a half later, Castiel made back to their booth and throw a lot of white napkin with different numbers written on it. 

"Pay up bitch!" Gabriel slurred he seem to be seeing double while gesturing to Dean to give him the bet money. 

"Ugh! Shoulda.. Sho- shouldn't have made a bet with ya. Your dreamy mother.. Hahaha. I just said mother. I mean brother is a sex god." Dean fished out his wallet and took a hundred out and handed it to Gabe. 

Dean then turn to Cas who finished the remaining half. Elbow propped on the table and right cheek landed his palm looking at him with disbelief. " I.. I can't b-believe ya man. Geeze.."

"Geese? Ohhh let's go to the town park. There's a lot of geese there or was it a duck. Nah it's a geese that quacks." Castiel squealed and pounded his hand in the table.

"I didn't.. did.. not.. steal Gabriel's secret stash of cherry sucker." Sam suddenly jerk from his sleepy daze upon feeling the impact of Castiel's pound.

"You dick! You dared touch mah secreeet stash." Gabriel mumbled trying to glare at Sam but failed miserable as he squint trying to focus his glare on the man beside him.

"Yeah, Sam's a dick. My stash of instant noodles turn into a fucking disgusting pickles." Cas added which made Sam gasped.

"How dare you! That pickles are delicious." He defended receiving a loud snort from Castiel and Gabriel.

"Says the moose. By the way Samantha, wha-what were you doing at their place?" Dean asked in which Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh god! I'm gonna vomit."

Sam smacked Gabriel on his head. "Don't give him the wrong idea." 

"C'mon man, Cas, my buddy won the challenge fair and square. We shoulda do whatever he say. it can't be that b-bad, right?" And that was the last time Dean does any challenge with drunk Cas.

Everyone headed to the park wearing only their respective underwears except for Castiel who keeps floundering on his trench coat from there everything was a blur and the last thing they remember was Castiel shouting, "I found myself a hot chick. Suck it losers."

The group didn't remember everything after that night, only bits and pieces in the following morning.

Dean woke up with a huge hang over the next morning. He found himself outside the park, his body twist in an awkward position on the bench. He looked around squinting his eyes to adjust his vision. He saw his moose of a brother near the pond left hand dip on the water, head planted on the solid ground and what Dean mostly notice is the red spot with black ink that he can't clearly see from the distant, by Sam's lower bare back. He heard a grunt somewhere behind as he turn around he saw Gabriel tangle on top of a bush, he was only wearing his neon orange brief.

"What the hell!" That seemed to wake Dean properly as he place a hand on his chest. All his clothes are gone except for his boxer.

"Sssh, shut your cake hole Winchester." Gabriel tried to rub the sleep away from his eyes, he was still half awake. He looked around the surrounding from the vibrant green trees to the clear pond where Sam was.

"Well, well, well. I think we drank too much." Gabe finally analyze the situation. 

"Ya think?" Dean sarcastically retort trying to find his clothes. "Why the fuck are we naked?"

"Oh yeah!" Gabe hummed trying to put the pieces of last night but with no luck he can't remember everything. His memories were in between gaps.

"Where's Cassie?" Gabe asked and with that Castiel poked his head out under the bushes near him. His dark curls were sticking out wildly, blue eyes seemed glaring and a deep line drawn on his lips. Perched on his right shoulder trench coat was a grey chick. 

After that no one dared to talk about incident.

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Before scrolling down the next chapter please do read these notes: 
> 
> Note #1: This is my very first Destiel and Sabriel fanfic forgive me if it's horrible. (Also my first one to write Man on man Fanfic.)
> 
> Note #2: I do not own any of this character. This is from a show called Supernatural. This is a work of fiction, nothing is real. Just made up stories.
> 
> Note #3: This is a raw version of the story no editing happened. Lots of grammar errors.
> 
> Note #4: I'd be updating every Thursday.
> 
> Note #5: Please don't forget to leave some love through votes or comments. You can also message me for any suggestion.
> 
> Note #6: Excuse my cover picture. Sadly my computer broke I can't edit stuff so please bear it for the mean time. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this story.


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